Thoughts!Non-ThoughtsThoughts
| The Bitch He Loved[1999-02-21]"Pah! I don't give a shit about that bitch", he screamed in rage. Except he did give shit about the bitch. In fact, he'd been thinking of her for almost three days now. At first, when he'd just broken up their relationship, he hadn't really given a damn. After all, she'd been tying him down. And he didn't love her anyway. But this Monday, he'd suddenly seen her flash by in the middle of the street, on the way home from work. Amazed, and somewhat confused with his reaction, he'd stopped in the middle of the zebra-crossing, causing several angry drivers. Then later that day when cooking dinner, his thoughts drifted off again. With the scent of the food seeping up his nostrils while he was cooking, he suddenly caught himself thinking about whether she'd like it with or without peppers. He'd just decided that she'd probably prefer it with peppers, when he realised that she wouldn't be eating it anyway. Tuesday morning had been even worse. The first thing he did when the alarm-clock went off was to shut it off quickly, to avoid waking her up, and then tip-toeing on his way to the shower. And then he realised there was no sleeping beauty in the right half of his bed. Tuesday afternoon had been worst so far. When he got off work he headed off to a florist, just to buy her a nice set of red pimpernels, only to realise on the doorstep, with the door half open, that she wasn't waiting for him back home. Wednesday morning had been relatively uncomplicated. Two times he had to remind himself not to leave a note for her at the table, but otherwise, everything was fine. But now, around tea-time, everything was really horrible. He'd already called home two times to hear her voice, only to realise that the only thing that would answer was his answering machine. He was about to call a third time, but got hold of himself in the last moment. He was actually missing that girl. That admittal came as a shock to himself. The impact of these few words that formed inside him was amazing. His mind momentarily stopped working when he realised that he was really telling himself the truth. Maybe she had been a bitch. But she was the bitch he loved. |
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