The ruling passion, be it what it will,
the ruling passion conquers reason still.

-- Alexander Pope




Back to my RPG Page.

Last update: 06/01/92

Initial reactions to this guide

"The AD&D sex guide is interesting to say the least."

"'s a pretty handy guide to have really."

--- Matt Sullivan

"The people in my group love the guide!!!"

"Imagine my player's face when he realized he had screwed a wight lich !!!"

--- Larry Barthel

"...let me intrude to tell you that my wife and I really like what you have come up with."

"We both have rather chaotic sensual souls as characters."

--- Morgan Blackheart

"There where nice ideas."

"Great Idea & Fun!"

" looks GREAT !!!"

"It looks good & Fun."

--- Vinnie

"Well, I've read over the pages and it looks GREAT!"

--- Mike Parasich

"It takes perversion to a higher level."

--- Brian Deffinbaugh

"I...found it quite enjoyable and reasonable for application to AD&D."

"The guide is really good -- I am very impressed with the work..."

--- Jason Golden

"I have looked it over gleefully..."

--- Lonadar

"It started out as a small simple project, but it splooged into amassive document of infinite knowledge."

"Who'd a thought anybody would show an interest."

--- Reid D. Bluebaugh


Most everybody has had a character come in contact with a person of the opposite sex, but the encounter was nothing more than the brief statement: "I'll have sex with the fair lass and leave". This leaves out a lot of exciting role playing that can turn into a lot of humorous anecdotes. What if one of the involved people can't "perform"? What about getting a disease? Getting pregnant? Spells? Magic-Items? Classes? But where could a player find a could source of information?

On the ADND-L Bitnet list (an electronic mail forum for AD&D), a person posted rules for characters to have sex. I though that this was quite clever, but I didn't care for the rules so I made my own. Well, just having a few rules didn't seem like enough so I made some disease and insanities to make it more interesting. I thought I had a pretty nice guide so I requested some help on the list for people to look it over. Well, this caused quite a stir and I realized that the guide was very incomplete as suggestions for more sections started pouring in. Well, over a few months ideas, comments, criticisms, and additions kept coming. I even established a small mailing list to correspond to these people. Eventually, this final product was reached.

This guide will add a new and often times funny dimension to any campaign. The key is funny. One objective was to try and keep it light and fun. Although some things may be considered perverse, it was created in an jocular fashion. The intent isn't to offend or disgust it is only to enhance the game. This guide is so extensive that there should be something for everybody. And if not, then you can just throw it away (it's not like you had to pay for it or something). I'm sure that TSR has plans to publish there own sex guide .

For the most part, the information enclosed will have been play-tested and in a workable form. In others, you may have to make further adjustments to fit the ideas into your campaign.

This material is the fruit of my labor with special assistance from a few great people of the ADND-L Bitnet list. Although most material is my own, it is not all my own. Some material was submitted from others, and I merely edited it. Also, many people inspired much of the guide. Plus, they made a considerable amount of suggestions, comments, and criticisms. Acknowledgment to these people is given in the Special Thanks section of this guide. I would acknowledge them at the beginning of the guide, but the acknowledgments are specific and would be confusing if not read after reading the guide.

I prefer that this guide is not mass distributed. This is a very extensive supplement that few deserve. Most criticized, mocked, and scorned me and my comrades while creating it. Only people who are helpful, creative, and appreciative deserve to view this guide. Therefore, be wise and selective when distributing it and don't give it to every Tom, Dick, and Conan. However, permission is granted to pass on the material so long as no profit is gained.

For those that do have a copy, I ask that you register with me. Then, I will be able to give you new versions and updates of the guide as it continues to expand, so you won't be stuck with an old copy.

For those that do receive this guide, I ask that the material is unchanged. If you have any ideas, suggestions, comments, criticisms, additions, recommendations, or complaints; I would be very interested in hearing them. The only way the guide can get better is for everybody to contribute in one form or another. At the very least I would be like to be informed of the usefulness of the guide (and add it to the story section). All help would be appreciated. Because I plan to make continuous updates, I would appreciate that people do not make the guide available via FTP sites because they tend to accumulate old out- of-date versions.

I would appreciate that my name as well as those in the Special Thanks section are not removed, changed, or altered since we are the ones who deserve credit our names should remain with the guide.

Of course I can't really stop anybody from doing what they want. I just ask that you respect those who made this guide possible because I'm sure that they will continue to make great material for AD&D.

The copyright is not a mere facsimile of my imagination, it is actually copyrighted and normal copyright laws apply. It would be foolish to make such a large compilation and not really copyright it.

Reid Bluebaugh

The Wild-Thing Rules

There comes a time in an adventurer's life when he/she wants to engage in the act of sex. Unfortunately, the DM's Guide and Player's Handbook avoid the subject for obvious reasons. A player rolls dice from pottery to dancing, so why not sex.

At first glance, it may seem that a character can have sex for quite a long time. This is true for player characters. They have superior attributes and thus can perform better (that's why they're great adventurers). However, an average character would have attributes between 7-12. Using the below rules, an average character (9 in all attributes) could go a minimum of 9 minutes (rounds) and might be able to go an additional 9 minutes if very, very luck (dice deities willing, but don't bet on it).

Some DM's may feel that certain races should be more adept at sex than others. Many arguments can be made for every race. The one race that most people feel should have modifiers is the dwarf race. However, since theses rules are based on constitution and since initial character generation gives bonus or penalties to Constitution (dwarves get +1), it is not necessary to give additional modifiers to race.

The following is the steps to go through to see if a character can continue having sex:

  1. A character can initially last a minimum of rounds equal to his/her constitution with certain modifiers. Table 1 lists modifiers to constitution by dexterity (remember: it's how you use it). Table 2 lists modifiers to constitution by strength (gotta be able to keep up). Table 3 lists modifiers to constitution by the partner's charisma (charismatic partners really enhance sex, even if their comeliness isn't high). If he/she wishes to continue, then he/she must make constitution checks (Step 2).

  2. After the initial rounds pass, the character must make a constitution check for each round he/she wishes to continue. Modifiers to this check are from Table 1 and Table 2 And Table 3, plus cumulative modifier of -1. The character also needs to make a time to climax (TTC) check. A 1 on a 1d6 for males and a 1 on a 1d10 for women indicates such an occurrence. An additional TTC roll is made and a result of 1 indicates multiple orgasms (keep rolling while 1s come up). Of course, males could have trouble continuing after this, but the player can make such decisions.

  3. A failed check means the character lost interest for whatever reason.

NOTE: In most cases it take two to tango, so remember to keep track of all participates.

Table 1: Dexterity Modifier

A. Score Modifier 01-03 -4 <-- not much fun 04-06 -2 07-12 0 13-15 +2 16-18 +4 <-- someone could get hurt

Table 2: Strength Modifier

A. Score Modifier 01-03 -4 <-- wears out easily 04-06 -2 07-12 0 13-15 +2 16-18 +4 <-- nasty

Table 3: Partner's Charisma Modifier

A. Score Modifier

01-03 -4 04-06 -2 07-12 0 13-15 +2 16-18 +4

Conception: What are the odds?

Sure characters screw around, but in never seems like they get anybody pregnant or get pregnant themselves unless on a whim of the DM. UNTIL NOW! Below is a very simple system to make the decision fairly.

To start, get the base chance for each character (Table 1) that participated in sex and add the appropriate Constitution modifiers (Table 2). Then roll percentile dice for each person. A successful roll indicates fertility. If both are fertile than conception has occurred. Of course, this assumes that both characters are of compatible race. Some DM's may allow all races to reproduce offspring. Other DMs may limit which races can breed together. This decision should remain that of individual DMs.

Table 1: Base Chance

Base Race Chance Dwarf 22% Elf 13% Gnome 20% Half-Elf 54% Halfling 50% Human 77%

NOTE: The maximum age for each race was divided by 100. This number was divided into 100% to get the base chance (fractions rounded). This gives an accurate representation of how fertile the overall race is. If a DM wishes to add more races to the base chance, all that would be needed is the maximum age of that race.

Table 2: Constitution modifiers

A. Score Modifier 01-03 -6% 04-06 -4% 07-09 -2% 10-12 +2% 13-15 +4% 16-18 +6%

Some may argue that age should play an important role in fertility, but age isn't represented in these rules. However, Constitution plays a role in fertility and Constitution is used here. A character's Constitution fluctuates because of age (page 24 of the Player's Handbook). Thus, age is taken into consideration because of Constitution changes due to age. To make any more modifiers would be double jeopardy.

The Bitch Rule

The Bitch Rule is an option that makes a female PC or NPC very moody. DMs may make this a requirement for all females. Other alternatives are making it an insanity, disease, or curse. The Bitch Rule works best for chaotic characters because they seem to have what it takes to work.

The following are the steps to develop a moody female:

TABLE: Moods & Attitudes

Die Roll Moods & Attitudes 1 happy, cheerful, optimistic, helpful, friendly 2 self-pity, unhelpful, brooding, pessimistic 3 pissed off, vengeful, cruel 4 playful, energetic, daring, foolhardy, practical joker 5 vain, proud, lazy, bored, omnipotent feeling 6 restless, impatient, takes control, urge to get on with things, roll 1d6 for obsession check

Needless to say, running a character with all of these different attributes which change all of the time tests the player's ability to roll play to a maximum.

The Bitch Rule initiated in Salina, a chaotic neutral human. Because of her great contribution to the AD&D game, a profile of her is below.

Salina - 9th level mage

Physical Appearance: Salina is 5' 6" brunette with grey eyes. She has remarkable stats (all above 10, INT 17, DEX 18) (honest, that's the way she rolled it...). She is a real "babe". The longer you are in her presence, however, the more you realize that her charisma is not quite up to her comeliness.

Family & Childhood: Her mother died in childbirth. Her father is a rich/feared/respected merchant/trader/smuggler who bought his title and measures affection in monetary terms. To increase Salina's value, she was educated by private tutors and given anything money could buy. She discovered books and power as a substitute for friends and affection.

Reasons to Adventure:

General: She lives whim to whim. She has chronic PMS mood swings (aka The Bitch Rule). She is self serving. All of her likes and dis-likes are subject to change at any time, though a respect for books and talent and an attraction to jewelry are pretty consistent. She tends to dislike being dirty and loathes stupid people unless they have something she needs from them. She is a sort-of female Q (from Star Trek TNG). The party puts up with her often dangerous moods because she is a really good mage.

Adventure examples: Has a casual but regular relationship with 'Irnar (a NPC mage who "pops" in every now and again to stir up trouble with the characters). She keeps the relationship for what she can get out of him and because he learned some pretty INCREDIBLE moves after being abducted by a goddess of love. 'Irnar is totally into the physical aspect of a relation and since Salina is a mage with the best comeliness in my campaign, she wins out. Salina has been known to disappear (teleported by 'Irnar) during the middle of her night watch and reappear with melting snow in her hair. Or completely soaked with water, or in one case with grass stains and rope burns. The party has yet to find out what she does on her little side trips. One time she disappeared for three days then reappeared with no explanations, but she was in such a good mood that the party counted their blessings and did not press the questions. Besides, they desperately needed her since they were about to do battle with an Orcish army.

One time, another mage in the party got Salina mad at him, so he cast a Globe of Invulnerability around him for protection. Salina, recognizing the spell promptly threw a dagger +2 at him as a "subtle way of saying "get out of my face" and continued on her way without losing hardly a beat.

Another time the party had to pay a toll of one magic item each to a very old black dragon (I was sorta hoping they'd try to fight the thing) and Salina, in her helpful, cheery mood promptly offered the other mage to the dragon saying "If you let us pass, I'll give him to you" (note: said with a disgustingly cheery voice). The other mage had to do some quick talking to get out of that one. He did get some help from the good cleric who was "appalled" that Salina could do such a thing.

The party encountered a pool of whimsy healing water once. Salina got mad at one of the party members for being stupid, and promptly pushed him in. (The party at the time did not know the effects of the water.) Well, the fighter immediately got healed of all of his hit points, got a whimsy (I don't recall what it was) and drowned because he was wearing metal armour. Two members of the party finally fished him out, but they had a dickens of a time resuscitating him. The episode ended by everyone having a pool fight and pushing someone else in. (All went in except Salina.)

In another adventure, the party was right in the middle of battling an awesome mage (Le Morte by name) and Salina suddenly got bored and sat down to do her nails. The party, without a mage to help them out, really got whomped on, had to give in to Le Morte's demands, and lost a Horn of Dwarf Summoning they had spent several months (real time) trying to get in order to call the Dwarves to battle against the impending evil of a powerful anti-paladin (Sheol) who is still trying to take over all of the land.

Well. There you have some of the endearing characteristics of Salina. The party she runs around with may not like her all that much, but with players like her, the DM's job of making things difficult for all the players is made a little easier. ("With characters like her," quipped the Cleric named Candice Preach, "who needs adventure?")

This background is brought to you by Morgan the Slightly Chaotic

Seduction: More than reaction rolls

This is a simple yet effective way to handle a seduction. It is far more fun than making endless reaction checks and it certainly keeps players on their feet.

The following are the steps for seducing:

TABLE 1: Attribute Modifiers

Moves Made Seducer Victim Drunkenly -2 +2 Sleazy/Raunchy -1 +1 Aggressive +1 -1 Gentleman/Lady +2 -2

Non-weapon proficiencies

                         # of Slots     Relevant       Check
Proficiency              Required       Ability        Modifier
Contortion                  1           Dexterity         0
Massage                     1           Intelligence      0
Seduction                   1           Charisma          0
Sexual Endurance            1           Constitution      0
Sexual Knowledge            1           Intelligence      0

A character with this proficiency is able to contort his body and limbs into extraordinary positions.
A character with this proficiency is a master of massaging. The character has a great knowledge of stroking, kneading, and striking certain muscular parts of the body. It is used to improve circulation, sooth the nerves, and stimulate the digestive organs. Massage is also useful in increasing the tone of muscles after a long illness. Thus, the character gains knowledge of anatomy and is able to use his hands skillfully in stroking motions on certain muscles and nerves. A male who gives massage is called a masseur; a female is known as a masseuse. A proficiency check isn't necessary unless it is critical for the massage to be good (ex. soothing a savage before picking his pockets).

This skill also allows the character the ability to strike pressure points on an opponent. A successful "to hit" and proficiency check indicates that the victim suffers a -2 on his/her "to hit" rolls for 1d4 rounds (due to pain and sudden muscle cramps).

A character with this proficiency is better at seducing people than the average person. Thus, he/she gets a +2 bonus when seducing somebody (see the seduction rules below) if the proficiency check is made.
Sexual Endurance
A character with this proficiency is able to perform continual sexual activity longer then most before becoming subject to fatigue and exhaustion. When a character makes constitution ability checks during sex, he/she makes a proficiency check. If a successful proficiency check is made, then the cumulative modifier to constitution is cancelled.
Sexual Knowledge
A character with this proficiency has a knowledgeable understanding of sex. Thus, he/she gets a bonus of +1 to constitution ability checks during sex if a successful proficiency check is made.

This knowledge is allows the character to know proper "etiquette" when it comes to sex. Knowledge of sexual customs, preferences, pleasures, and dislikes, and so forth of people he/she comes in contact with.

Sexualis Morbus (Sexual Diseases)

This system does not attempt a specific treatment of a subject which is beyond its scope and purpose. What is done, however, is to give general categories of disease and maladies and their game effects.

Chance of contracting a disease

To contract a sexual disease, the character must be having sex with somebody who already is inflicted with a disease. The base chance for contracting a natural disease is 1% per round of sexual activity. The base chance for contracting a magical disease is 2% per round of sexual activity. Modifiers are as followed:
     Constitution of character
      1-3    +4     13-15  -2
      4-6    +2     16-18  -4

     protected intercourse    / 2  (cuts the chance in half)
     unprotected intercourse  X 2  (doubles the chance)

Thus, Rath (con. 14) becomes intimate with a person that has a natural sexual disease unfortunately he prefers not to use protection (like a sheep-skin condom). He participates in 18 rounds of sex. His chance of getting a disease is 32% (18-2 X 2). He rolls a 28 on the percentile dice. Thus, our hero now is infected with a sexual disease. If only he used protection, his chance of contracting a disease would have been a mere 8%. A lesson to be learned.

The use of Protection From Disease and Cure Disease spells are of course very useful for preventing and curing disease.

Random determination of who is diseased

The DM should decide of the person a character has sex with is infested with a disease, but if he wants to decide randomly, this system is provided. The chance of a prostitute having a disease is already established if Getting To Know A Prostitute (Random Generator) section of the guide is used. Therefore, the system is provided for non-prostitute people. Also, this system doesn't handle whether diseases are natural or magical because some DM's may have magically rich campaigns ands others may not so odds may vary.

The base chance of having a disease is depend on the size of the settlement (the theory is that more diseases are found in bigger settlements where more people interrelate):

     Thorp, Dorf     10
     Hamlet          25
     Village, Wych   30
     Town            35
     City            40

Modifiers to the base chance are by social level (the theory is that more disease are transmitted amongst the lower classes because there are dirtier and less careful):
     Lower Lower Class   +20                 NOTE: not all settlements
     Middle Lower Class  +15                 have these many variations
     Upper Lower Class   +10                 of social level. The DM
     Lower Middle Class   +5                 should be aware of what
     Middle Middle Class   0                 social levels are around.
     Upper Middle Class   -5
     Lower Upper Class   -10
     Middle Upper Class  -15
     Upper Upper Class   -20

Thus, a lower lower class citizen of a city would have a 60% chance of having a disease maybe because she sleeps around to get extra food money. In a near by hamlet, an upper upper class citizen would have a 5% chance maybe because he has a private mistress to engage in sexual activity when he is up to it. While in the city, a citizen of equal status has a 20% chance maybe because he parties a lot with the rich and he screws just as much.

At first glance at this system, a person might assume that in a city 9,000 roughly 40% (3,600) of the population are sexually diseased. The first item to note is that this system includes only those that ENGAGE in sexual activity. This eliminates a large amount of the city including children, elderly, etc.. We'll say that half the city engages in sexual activity, which seems like a lot. Social level is another important aspect that must be included. Thus in this example, let us assume that all social levels exist and there population is equal:

                           Total   Sexual   Chance    Total Of
     Social Level          Pop.    Active   Of Dis.   Diseased
     Lower Lower Class     1,000    500   *   60%   =   300
     Middle Lower Class    1,000    500   *   55%   =   275
     Upper Lower Class     1,000    500   *   50%   =   250
     Lower Middle Class    1,000    500   *   45%   =   225
     Middle Middle Class   1,000    500   *   40%   =   200
     Upper Middle Class    1,000    500   *   35%   =   175
     Lower Upper Class     1,000    500   *   30%   =   150
     Middle Upper Class    1,000    500   *   25%   =   125
     Upper Upper Class     1,000    500   *   20%   =   100

Thus, 1,800 people of 4,500 people who have sex of 9,000 people that live in the city are infected with a sexual disease. This is a lot, but we're assuming that those that participate in sexual activity do this with more than one person. The thing to keep in mind is that this system is to calculate individual persons, not mass population. When the dice starts rolling, the results usually don't go with the odds.


Natural sexual diseases might not seem as bad as magical, but they are as terrible. After choosing the desired disease on Table 1, the DM should roll 1d8 to decide occurrence and 1d8 to decide the severity of the disease.

Table 1: Natural Diseases

                       Occurrence             Severity
  Name               Acute Chronic    Mild  Severe  Terminal
 E.S.S.               1-4    5-8       1-3    4-5      6-8
 Gonorrhea            1-6    7-8       1-5    6-7       8
 Insania              1-4    5-8        X      X        X
 Prurire              1-7     8        1-6    7-8       X
 Segmen Neus          1-4    5-8       1-3    4-5      6-8
 Syphilis              X     1-8       1-5    6-7       8
 Tuna                  1     2-8       1-8     X        X
Occurrence determines whether the disease is a single (acute) attack or whether the disease will recur periodically once contracted (chronic). Chronic maladies will affect the character periodically, if they occur at the same time as any other malady (disease, disorder, or parasitic infestation), the severity of both will be increased. Thus, if two chronic maladies are contracted, the character is not likely to survive another disease attack.

Severity refers to the seriousness of the disease, disorder, or parasitic infestation and determines the period of disability (recover time or length of illness which terminates in the character's demise) and the effects of the malady.

During the period of affliction the character is unable to perform strenuous activities. Roll once on Table 2 for additional effects. Some treatment may be determined by the DM to allow a shortening of the period of illness. A normal period is 1-3 weeks.
A severe malady will lower the character's hit points to 50% of normal and make him/her totally disabled for 1-2 weeks, plus a further 1-2 weeks of time during which the malady is in the mild state as the character recovers. Roll twice on Table 2 for additional effects.
The malady will cause death (or loss of the body part or function) in 1-12 days (longer periods are stated hereafter in the discussion of the various maladies). Roll thrice on Table 2 for additional effects.

Table 2: Additional Effects

Roll  Effect
1     Burning during urination
2     Constant pain; -1d4 to attack rolls
3     Gradual brain rot; -1 intelligence and -1 wisdom
4     Hyperactivity; double movement rate, -2 initiative bonus
5     Loss of voice; no verbal spells, singing, etc.
6     Uncontrollable vomiting; -1 constitution per day
7     Sluggishness; half movement rate, +2 initiative penalty
8     10% chance per hour of a spasm which causes dropping of held


Enlarged Scrotum Syndrome (E.S.S.) - This disease is only contracted in males. The effect is that the male's testicles become quite enlarged (max. of two feet in diameter each). The victim's movement is quartered. Constitution is halved. The pain is awful and its really embarrassing to be seen. There is a 15% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.

An infectious disease of the genitourinary tract, rectum, and cervix, caused by the gonococcus, transmitted by sexual intercourse, and characterized by acute purulent urethritis with dysuria (Hey, its from Webster's Dictionary). There is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.
This disease causes the inflicted to gain a sexual insanity disorder (DM's choice; see below). The period of affliction lasts 4d6 months. There is a 10% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.
"The Itch" as it is better known is quite an uncomfortable but not lethal experience. The period of affliction is 1d4 weeks. There is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.
Segmen Neus
This disease is named after a disgusting perverse ogre who was always pestering female species. The effects of the disease are as followed:

  • -2 to comeliness each day (gradual disfigurement)
  • -1 to intelligence each day (gradual stupidity)
  • right leg goes bad making movement decrease by 90%
  • unable to participate in any sexual activity

There is a 75% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.

A chronic infectious venereal disease caused by a spirochete (Webster's Dictionary is so laborious). There is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.
This disease only manifests itself in female characters. It causes the victim to reek of the smell of fish. Going unnoticed is quite impossible. In fact, if cats are around they will follow the victim. There is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.


It is unknown how these magical diseases came about. Some sages say they're from war, some say that a rip in magical fields caused them, others say that creatures having sex with certain magical beings cause weird things. Whatever the reason, magical diseases aren't pretty. Magical diseases don't have an occurrence or severity. They last until dispelled by cure disease, wish, etc.. The DM can pick or roll (2d8) on Table 3.

Some may feel that the these diseases cause to much damage. A first level character can have sex with somebody infected with acid secretion and most likely be killed during the encounter. This is true, but the important thing to remember is that these diseases are magical and are not necessarily that common in society.

Table 3: Magical Diseases

Roll  Disease
2     Acidic Secretion
3     Bitchy Magical Syndrome (B.M.S.)
4     Fiery Secretion
5     Mummy Crotch Rot
6     Orgasmatic Flight
7     Orgasmatic Monster Summoning
8     Orgasmatic Polymorph
9     Poison Secretion
10    Sexual Audible Glamer
11    Sexual Chill Touch
12    Sexual Clairvoyance
13    Sexual Invisibility
14    Sexually Transmitted Lycanthrope
15+   REROLL


Acidic Secration
The sexual partner receives 2d8 points of damage on any round (DM's choice) during each sexual encounter.
Bitchy Magical Syndrome (B.M.S.)
This magical disease only affects females. Males should reroll on the magical disease table. Females with this disease suffer the effects of The Bitch Rule.
Fiery Secretion
The sexual partner receives 2d6 points of damage on any round (DM's choice) during each sexual encounter.
Mummy Crotch Rot
This disease is fatal in 1-6 months. For each month the rot progresses, the victim permanently loses two points of charisma. The disease can be cured only with a cure disease spell. Cure wounds and regenerate spells have no effect on a person inflicted with mummy crotch rot.
Orgasmatic Monster Summoning
Within one round of an orgasm, summoned monsters appear. There are seven stages of this disease. Each stage is relative to the number of months the inflicted has had the disease. Thus in the first month, the disease would be in the first stage.

In the first stage, 2d4 1st-level monsters appear (selected by the DM, from encounter tables). In the second stage, 1d6 2nd-level monsters appear. In the third stage, 1d4 3rd-level monsters appear. In the forth stage, 1d3 4th-level monsters appear. In the fifth stage, 1d2 5th-level monsters appear. In the sixth stage, 1d3 6th-level monsters appear. In the seventh stage, 1d2 7th-level monsters appear. The disease becomes terminal after the 7th stage.

The summoned creatures attack whomever happens to be there for a number of rounds equal to the stage number + 10.

Orgasmatic Flight
Upon an orgasm, the inflicted levitates if able (not tied down, etc). Then, he/she takes off in a random direction for 1d20 rounds. Upon coming into contact with a solid object (ex. wall), he/she takes off in another random direction. The DM may assign damage if necessary.
Orgasmatic Polymorph
Upon an orgasm, the inflicted polymorphs into another creature, save those that are noncoporeal, from as small as wren to as large as a hippopotamus. Furthermore the victim gains its physical mode of locomotion and breathing as well. No system shock is required. This affect does not give the new form's other abilities, nor does it run the risk of changing personality and mentality. The duration of the polymorph is 1 turn per constitution point.
Poison Secretion
The sexual partner receives damage (save vs. poison) on any round (DM's choice) during each sexual encounter . Roll (1d20) on the following table to decide damage:

   Die                  Fail   Succ.
   Roll   Onset In      Save   Save
  01-03   10-30 min.     15      0
  04-06   02-12 hours    20     10
  07-09   01-04 hours    20     10
  10-11   02-12 min.     20    01-03
  12-13   02-05 min.     25    02-08
  14-15   02-12 min.     30     15
  16-17   01-02 min.     30    02-12
    18    01-04 min.    Death   20
    19    Immediate     Death    0
    20    Immediate     Death   20

Sexual Audible Glamer
Any time the inflicted engages in sexual activity, he/she has uncontrollable desires to yell, scream, etc. This yell becomes louder as the sexual encounter continues. The volume is based upon the round of sex. During the second round, the volume is that of one person. The ratio is two rounds for one person's volume. Thus, the noise increase to the equivalent of two men during the forth round, the noise of three men during the sixth, and so on.
Sexual Chill Touch
On the tenth round of a sexual encounter, the inflicted causes a chill touch to his/her partner. The partner will take 1d10 points of damage due to the absolute cold. Further, the victim must save vs. paralysis or be utterly unable to move. This paralysis lasts until dispelled in some manner. (This could be real embarrassing to a government official paralyzed in a sleazy establishment.)
Sexual Clairvoyance
The inflicted sees in his/her mind some unknown locale (chosen by the DM) at random times throughout a sexual encounter.
Sexual Invisibility
The inflicted slowly turns invisible when having sex. This transformation begins on the second round and will end when the sexual encounter is finished. At this point, the inflicted will be totally invisible. The duration of invisibility is equal to the amount of rounds of the sexual encounter. (This could be beneficial when a quick an discreet exit is required.)
Sexually Transmitted Lycanthrope
A person with this disease either becomes inflicted with lycanthrope or becomes a carrier of the dreaded disease. The chances to get the disease are as followed:

     50% - constitution - 5        becoming inflicted
     50% + constitution - 5        becoming a carrier
     10%                           neither

The type of lycanthrope can be rolled (1d6) on the following table:

     1    Werebear         4  Wearboar
     2    Werefox          5  Wererat
     3    Werewolf         6  Weretiger

Sexual Insanity?

A character can be struck by insanity due to a curse, psionic attack, disease, etc.. The DM must make sure the role of the insane character is role-played correctly. Naturally, these insanities are not clinically correct. They are designed to conform to game terms and situations. Their inclusion is to fill an area of the game where a condition exists and no adequate explanation is otherwise given. The DM can pick the desired insanity or roll (1d8) on Table 3.

Table 1: Magical Insanities

Roll  Insanity

1     Bitchamania
2     Innecrophilia
3     Mirusmania
4     Necrophilia
5     Nymphomania
6     Sexaphobia
7     Unus-????mania
8     REROLL



This insanity can only manifest itself within females. Males should reroll for another insanity. Females with this insanity suffer the effects of The Bitch Rule.


This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive fascination with the undead. This obsession extends to the point of engaging in sexual intercourse with undead creatures when the opportunity arises. When coming across undead the afflicted character is 75% likely not to cause harm to the undead. Furthermore, he/she is 50% likely to rape unintelligent undead or seduce (to the point of begging) intelligent undead. The DM and players can see the dangers of a character desiring the likes of a vampire.


This insanity causes the victim to desire to have weird sex (although some characters may already do weird things). Some examples are during fly, jump spells; while polymorphed or ethereal; in strange places like a dungeon, temple, tree; under the influence of transmute flesh to spells. The DM and player should flesh out this insanity for good role-playing purposes.


This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive fascination with death and corpses. This obsession extends to the point of engaging in sexual intercourse with a corpse. The afflicted character is 50% likely to attempt a sexual act with a corpse of the opposite sex when such an opportunity arises. Thus, a character adventuring in catacombs may sneak away from the party for a quick interlude with the dead. This insanity could reach a point where the character keeps a supply of dead handy to serve his/her purposes.


Sex! Sex! Sex! This insanity manifests itself in an ardent desire, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex (lots of sex). The afflicted will furtively attempt to seduce a person of the opposite sex, whenever the opportunity presents itself, and he/she will usually seek out such opportunities. The afflictive must have sex a minimum of 1d10+10 times per week. Not getting the minimum weekly requirement causes the person to gain an accumulative +1 to constitution, but lose an accumulative -1 to intelligence and an accumulative -1 to wisdom until relief presents itself. Other problems could be continuous dissatisfaction, inability to prioritize, egotistic view that everyone wants it, patronizing view that all need to be defiled by sex because they are naturally evil, or that he/she is doing people a "favor". He/she will not go to the extent of rape or molesting, but hiring prostitutes is not above the insanity.


This insanity gives the victim a fear of having sex and will avoid having sex at all costs. Reasons for this fear may be divine retribution, superiority complex (nobody is good enough), etc.


This insanity manifests itself in an ardent desire and obsession, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex with a particular type of creature. The afflicted will furtively attempt to seduce this type of creature (still of the opposite sex), whenever the opportunity presents itself, and he/she will usually seek out such opportunities. He/she will not desire to have sex with any other, even his/her own species; and will actually reek at the thought. When he/she has sex with such a creature, he/she likes the creature to do weird things relative to the creature's abilities and talents (see example below). Of course some creatures maybe harder to get a hold of then others. The table below is small and simplistic, DMs may add any creatures they want. Roll (1d20) on the following table to get the type of creature that is desired:
Roll  Name (????)    Type of Creature
 1    Daemon         Demons *
 2    Dimidiuselfe   Half-elves
 3    Divus          Dieties, Demigods, etc
 4    Draco          Dragons *
 5    Druidae        Druids
 6    Elfe           Elves *
 7    Giant          Giants *
 8    Gnome          Gnomes
 9    Gobla          Goblins
10    Gole           Golems *
11    Halfline       Halflings
12    Homo           Humans *
13    Lycanthrope    Lycanthropes *
14    Magus          Mages
15    Nanus          Dwarfs *
16    Nequam         Rogues
17    Ogra           Ogres
18    Pugna          Fighters
19    Sacerdos       Clerics
20    Vates          Bards
                                   * can be specific type
Example: A person with unus-sacerdosmania insanity will have a desire to have sex with clerics. When having sex with cleric, he/she might want the cleric to pray. A person with unus-pugnamania will only have sex with fighters and might want the fighter to punch, scratch, and wrestle during sex. A person with unus-vatesmania will only have sex with bards and might want the bard to sing during sex.

Spells with ZIP

All spells are listed for magic-users, but most can be easily adjusted for clerical use. Spells like Know Sexual Preference and Protection From Disease would be just as common in priests spell list as they would be in a magic-users.

Also, some may feel that certain spells are to powerful for the level given. Before making such judgements, a person should examine other spells of the same level and the level above. For instance, some of the cantrips seem powerful; but if they were 1st level, a mage would probably take Magic Missile or Shocking Grasp over one of them. Also, Kiss Of Sleeping is just a variation on the 1st level spell Sleeping. Furthermore, Kiss Of Wounding only does 1d3 and is a melee spell compared to a Magic Missile's 1d4 and missile range.


Delay Orgasm Know Sexual Preference Mordenkainen's Lubrication Mount Pillow Talk Slap Sterility Sexual Attraction Tweak/Goose Unbutton/Unlace

Level 1

Blown Kiss Change Sexual Preference Charm Man I Davenet's Seduction Ecstasy Fascination Impotence Kiss Of Sleeping Kiss Of Wounding Power Word, Rut Seduction I

Level 2

Jealousy Kiss Of Weakness Sexify/Enhance Comeliness Voyeur

Level 3

Kiss Of Slavery Leomund's Tiny Brothel Protection From Disease

Level 4


Level 6

Sex Change

Level 8

Kiss Of The Nereid Power Word, Castrate

Level 9

Heartbreaker Kiss Of Death Summon Cissaldan

Delay Orgasm (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip Range: 10 yards Components: V, S Duration: 1 round/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 creature Saving Throw: Neg. This cantrip delays any orgasm by 1 round per level of the caster. Thus, if the TTC indicates an orgasm, it doesn't go into effect until +1 round/level. Back to list of Cantrip spells...

Know Sexual Preference (Divination) Reversible

Level: Cantrip Range: 10 yards Components: V, S Duration: 1 round/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 creature per 2 rounds Saving Throw: Neg. This cantrip enables the wizard to read the aura of a creature. The caster must remain stationary and concentrate on the subject for two full rounds. A creature is allowed a saving throw vs. spell and, if successful, the caster learns nothing about the particular creature from the casting. Certain magical devices negate this cantrip. The reverse, undetectable sexual alignment, conceals the sexual preference of a creature for 24 hours - even from a know sexual preference cantrip. Back to list of Cantrip spells...

Mordenkainen's Lubrication (Conjuration)

Level: Cantrip Range: 1 feet Components: V, S Duration: 10 minutes/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 10" X 3" (rumor has it that Mordenkainen needed this large amount of coverage) Saving Throw: None This cantrip covers an organic surface with a slippery layer of a greasy nature. Back to list of Cantrip spells...

Mount (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: Cantrip Range: 10 yards Components: V, S Duration: 2 hours/level Casting Time: 1 turn Area of Effect: 1 mount Saving Throw: None By means of this cantrip, the caster conjures a very attractive person of the opposite sex to serve him/her. The person serves willingly and well, but at the expiration of the cantrip duration it disappears, returning to its own place. The mount does not come with any gear or clothes. The mount can't do anything but perform basic sexual acts. This cantrip was created by conjurer apprentices to practice their art. It is only a cantrip because the conjured being, only serves one purpose (a fun purpose, but not a practical purpose). Back to list of Cantrip spells...

Pillow Talk (Alteration)

Level: Cantrip Range: 10 feet Components: V, S Duration: 1 turn/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 pillow Saving Throw: None When this cantrip is cast, the wizard imbues the chosen pillow with an enchanted mouth. The mouthed pillow will only speak about sexual topics. The wizard has the option at cast time to decide the level of vargarity. The level varies from perverse smut to intellectual discussions on sexual techniques. Back to list of Cantrip spells...

Slap (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip Range: 10 feet Components: V, S Duration: Instantaneous Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 person Saving Throw: Neg. Explanation: The victim of this spell feels a forceful slap across the cheek. Creatures must save vs. spell or be distracted for one segment, dazed by the blow (lose concentration of spells, etc.). Back to list of Cantrip spells...

Sterility (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip Range: 10 feet Components: V, S Duration: 30 minutes/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 person Saving Throw: None This cantrip is the mages' form of birth control. It is 100% accurate and can be performed on anybody who consents to it. Clerics have high level spells to accomplish this, but only mages have such a simplistic form of birth control. Back to list of Cantrip spells...

Sexual Attraction (All Schools) Reversible

Level: Cantrip Range: 10 feet Components: V, S Duration: 30 minutes/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 person Saving Throw: None This cantrip causes the recipient to gain a +1 modifier for every three levels of the mage to charisma with respect to having sex. Thus, this spell won't effect any other aspects of charisma; only sex. Most mages cast the cantrip on his/her partner, so the partner is more desirable thus making it easier for the mage to perform. The reverse of this cantrip is Sexual Disgust. The modifier is -1 for every three levels of the mage rather than +1. Back to list of Cantrip spells...

Tweak/Goose (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip Range: 10 feet Components: V, S Duration: Instantaneous Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 person Saving Throw: Special This cantrip causes the victim to feel the sensation of being "tweaked" or "goosed" as if by an unseen forefinger and thumb. The portion of the body being tweaked must be seen by the caster and be uncovered by armor. Victim's who are spellcasters must either save vs. spell or make an Intelligence check to avoid losing concentration. Other intelligent, small, and medium sized creatures must make same save/check or be distracted for one segment. The caster must make a tweaking motion with his hand in order to affect the spell. Back to list of Cantrip spells...

Unbutton/Untie (Alteration) Reversible

Level: Cantrip Range: 10 feet Components: V, S Duration: Instant Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: One object Saving Throw: None By means of this cantrip, the caster can magically cause the object of the magic - thread, string, cord, rope, button - to untie or unbutton itself. The reverse ties or buttons the object. A stronger spell in the works is Power Word: Disrobe. Back to list of Cantrip spells...

Blown Kiss (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1 Range: 12 feet Components: S Duration: -- Casting time: 1 Area of Effect: -- Saving Throw: -- This spell enhances a kissing spell by allowing its range to become long range instead of by touch. This spell must be cast 1 round prior to the kissing spell. Any kissing spell may be used in conjunction with this spell. Note that this allows the caster to blow a kiss to those that may not desire one. Thus, the problems with physical contact during combat and such have been eliminated. Back to list of Level 1 spells...

Change Sexual Preference (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1 Range: 120 yards Components: V, S Duration: Special Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 person Saving Throw: Neg. This spell affects any single person it is cast upon. The term person includes any bipedal human, demihuman, or humanoid of man-size or smaller, such as dwarves, elves, gnolls, halflings, kobolds, and others. The person receives a saving throw vs. spell to avoid the effect, with any adjustment due to Wisdom. If the person receives damage from the caster's group in the same round the spell is cast, an additional bonus of +1 per hit point of damage received is added to the victim's saving throw. If the spell recipient fails his saving throw, his sexual preference is changed to the opposite. Thus a man who liked women would now prefer other men. The duration of the spell is a function of the charmed person's Intelligence and is tied to the saving throw. The spell may be broken if a successful saving throw is rolled, and this saving throw is checked on a periodic basis, according to the creature's Intelligence (see following table). Intelligence Score Time Between Checks 3 or less 3 months 4 to 6 2 months 7 to 9 1 month 10 to 12 3 weeks 13 to 14 2 weeks 15 to 16 1 week 17 3 days 18 2 days 19 or more 1 day The DM must make sure that the spell recipient adheres to the effects of the spell, but it isn't necessary to go into detail. Back to list of Level 1 spells...

Charm Man I (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1 Range: 16 feet radius Components: V, S Duration: 1d4+1 turns Casting time: 1 Area of Effect: 1d4+4 men of 3 HD/level or lower Saving Throw: see below This spell is used by witches and houris, but other clever mages should be able to adjust the spell for their needs. A witch must have a Charisma score of at least 11 to cast this spell. It affects victims the same as a charm person spell. If there is a leader with a group of men, he may dispel the charm if his charisma plus a roll of 1d8 is six points or more higher than the witch's charisma. If the spell is not dispelled by a leader, each man within the area of effect must attempt a save vs. spells. A successful save negates the effect of the spell for that man only. If there are more men within range than a maximum number who can be affected, the spell is directed against the lower-level men first. The spell won't work on any man who has taken damage from any other action of the same witch during the current encounter. There are four level variations of this spell (Charm Man II at third level, Charm Man III at fifth level). They are listed here instead of throughout the guide for convenience. The spells and the difference in duration and area of effect are as followed: Charm Man II - 1d6+4 turns 1d6+6 men of 4 HD/level or lower Charm Man III - 1d8+4 turns 1d8+8 men of 5 HD/level or lower Charm Man IV - 1d10+4 turns 1d10+10 men of 6 HD/level or lower Charm Man V - 1d12+4 turns 1d12+12 men of 8 HD/level or lower Back to list of Level 1 spells...

Davenet's Seduction (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1 Range: Special Components: V, S, M Duration: Permanent or until dispelled Casting time: 1 hour Area of Effect: One person Saving Throw: see below The spellcaster may affect one individual of the opposite sexual orientation to become enamored with the spellcaster and willingly subject to all of his/her commands. That the victim has been seduced (magically or otherwise) will be readily apparent to those who make a successful wisdom check. In order to cast the spell, the spellcaster must extract a personal item of the victim's, and then cast the spell onto the item in solitude. When the item is given back to the victim and recognized, the spell is complete. The victim is allowed a special saving throw on a d20 based on intelligence. The roll is modified by adding the victim's wisdom and subtracting the spellcaster's apparent charisma (OPTIONAL: comeliness). The spell is effective until dispelled. While under the enchantment, the victim will take as gospel everything the spellcaster says, and will strive to protect and defend the spellcaster at all times. If the spell is broken by another magic or by the will of the enchanter, however, the victim will remember everything and know that magic was involved. Back to list of Level 1 spells...

Ecstasy (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1 Range: 5 yards Components: V, S Duration: 1 round + 1 round/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 person Saving Throw: Neg. The gestures of the wizard, along with his erotic incantations causes the person to go into an enjoyable, screaming, orgasmatic, erotic fit. The term person includes any bipedal human, demihuman, or humanoid of giant-size or smaller, such as dwarves, elves, gnolls, halflings, kobolds, and others. The person receives a saving throw vs. spell to avoid the effect, with any adjustment to Wisdom. If the person fails the saving throw, he/she loses all dexterity bonuses to armor class. Also, he/she cannot move from his/her current location. He/she cannot cast spells, attack, use items, etc. Basically, the character is caught up in a real pleasurable experience and can't function properly. Back to list of Level 1 spells...

Fascination (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1 Range: 12 feet Components: V, S, M Duration: 20 turns Casting time: 1 Area of Effect: One person Saving Throw: Neg. The affecting person will be unable to do anything at all except follow the mage wherever she/he goes, unable to take his/her eyes off her/him. If attacked, the affected will try to beat off any opponents, including his own comrades, in a berserk fury (+1 to hit, -1 to AC) in order to continue moving towards the mage. Back to list of Level 1 spells...

Impotence (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1 Range: 5 yards Components: V, S, M Duration: 10 rounds/level Casting time: 1 Area of Effect: One creature Saving Throw: Neg. This spell enables the spell caster to render one creature, himself or otherwise, impotent (incapable of sexual intercourse). The material component is a bucket of cold water. The incantation consists of a specific personality (such as "Baba Yaga") who might be unappealing to the creature. The saving throw is actually a check on the disgust the personality generates in the creature. If the creature finds the person repulsive, he fails the save. OPTIONAL EFFECT: During the period of impotence, the creature will attack at -2 and make morale and saving throws at -2. Wisdom, Constitution, and Charisma scores will be lowered by 1-3 points each for the duration of the spell. Also, during this time the creature will feel downright miserable. Back to list of Level 1 spells...

Kiss Of Sleeping (Enchantment/Charm) Reversible

Level: 1 Range: Touch Components: S Duration: 10/level Casting time: 1 Area of Effect: One creature Saving Throw: None When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in combat). After the kiss, the victim goes into a deep comatose slumber. Slapping or wounding awakens the affected creature but normal noise does not. Awakening requires one entire round. The reverse of this spell is Kiss Of Awakening which will awaken a person who is magically asleep. Back to list of Level 1 spells...

Kiss Of Wounding (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 1 Range: Touch Components: S Duration: Instantaneous Casting time: 1 Area of Effect: One creature Saving Throw: 1/2 When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in combat). This kiss causes the victim to suffer 1d3 hit points of damage, plus 3 points for each level of experience of the spellcaster, to a maximum of 1d3+20 points. Those successfully saving vs. spell receive half damage. Back to list of Level 1 spells...

Power Word, Rut (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 1 Range: 5 yards/two level Components: V Duration: 1 hour/level Casting time: 1 Area of Effect: One male mammal Saving Throw: None When this spell is cast, the recipient gains a condition of sexual excitement and productive activity. This reflects in the recipient as a gain a +2 modifier for every three levels of the mage to dexterity with respect to having sex. Thus, this spell won't effect any other aspects of dexterity; only sex. Also due to his hyper state, the recipient gains a +1 to hit. Furthermore, two points of intelligence and one point of wisdom is lost; and one point of charisma is gained. These bonuses end when the spell ends. Back to list of Level 1 spells...

Seduction I (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1 Range: 6 feet Components: V, S Duration: 2 turns or until dispelled Casting time: 1 Area of Effect: One person (4 HD/levels or less) Saving Throw: see below This spell is used by witches (some warlocks have customized it for their use). This spell causes the affected person to cast aside all weapons, armor, and clothing, in an attempt to seduce the witch, leaving the victim virtually defenseless against attacks from the witch or any other character or creature. Immediately after the spell wears off or is dispelled, the victim can retrieve one of his dropped weapons on a roll of 11 or more on 1d20. If the roll is 16 or more, the victim may also retrieve a shield or helmet. Rolls may be repeated each round until successful, as long as the victim stays within grasping range of the weapon or other object to be recovered. Saving throws are a straight throw versus spells, modified by Wisdom only (no magical protection device apply). Furthermore, the victim saves at -1 for every tow points of Charisma of the caster above 12, rounded up (i.e. -1 at charisma 13 or 14, -2 at 15 or 16, -3 at 17 or 18). This saving throw gives characters or creatures with a decent Wisdom a better chance of saving throw vs. spells, tones the power down a bit, and makes the calculation of saving throws much easier than the original method that appears below. ALTERNATIVE SAVING THROW: The saving throw for this spell is computed by adding the seduction spell level (1 through 8) to the charisma score of the witch and subtracting the wisdom score of the intended victim. The resulting number is used as a modifier (plus or minus) to a roll of 1d20. The adjusted die roll must be equal to or greater than a certain number, depending on the class of the intended victim, for the save to be successful. Fighters need a 13 to save, rogues need a 12, mages need a 9, and clerics need a 8. There are seven level variations of this spell (Seduction II at second level, Seduction III at third level). They are listed here instead of throughout the guide for convenience. The spells and the difference in area of effect are as followed: Seduction II - One person (6 HD/levels or less) Seduction III - One person (8 HD/levels or less) Seduction IV - One person (10 HD/levels or less) Seduction V - One person (12 HD/levels or less) Seduction VI - One person (14 HD/levels or less) Seduction VII - One person (16 HD/levels or less) Seduction VIII - One person (18 HD/levels or less) Back to list of Level 1 spells...

Jealousy (Alteration)

Level: 2 Range: 6 feet Components: V, S Duration: 2 turns + 1 turn/level Casting time: 2 Area of Effect: 1-6 persons Saving Throw: Neg. The affected people will become jealous of each other to the extent that they will ignore the mage or any other source of danger present and quarrel amongst themselves. There is a chance equal to the mage's intelligence of such an argument leading to blows and, if it does, there is an additional chance equal to the mage's intelligence of the fight being to the death. If the fight is not to the death, then the combatants will come out of the spell when hit. Back to list of Level 2 spells...

Kiss Of Weakness (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 2 Range: Touch Components: V, S Duration: Special Casting time: 1 Area of Effect: One person Saving Throw: None When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in combat). This kiss causes the victim to lose 2d4 points of Strength for 24 hours. After receiving such a kiss, the victim will be completely helpless for 1d10 turns. Back to list of Level 2 spells...

Sexify/Enhance Comeliness (Alteration)

Level: 2 Range: Touch Components: V, S, M Duration: Special Casting time: 2 Area of Effect: One person Saving Throw: None The recipient of this spell undergoes a transformation in appearance to become more sexually attractive to members of the opposite gender no matter what the recipient's initial comeliness. Looks, smell, smoothness, and even taste of the outer skin are all effected. The recipient's comeliness is effected as follows: Caster's Level Comeliness Duration 01 14 10 minutes 02 15 20 minutes 03 16 30 minutes 04 17 1 hour 05 18 2 hours 06 19 4 hours 07 20 8 hours 08 21 16 hours 09 22 1 day 10 23 2 days 11 24 4 days 12 25 8 days 13 26 16 days 14 27 32 days 15 28 64 days 16 29 128 days 17+ 30 256 days Note that if two mages cast the spell on a person simultaneously, then their levels may be added together to effect a stronger magic. Further, this spell has the effect of negating any curse magic which degrades the recipient's natural beauty. The material component of this spell is a cosmetic and perfume kit magically prepared by a thaumaturger. Back to list of Level 2 spells...

Voyeur (Alteration)

Level: 2 Range: 20 feet Components: V, S, M Duration: 2 rounds/level Casting time: 2 Area of Effect: One person Saving Throw: None A voyeur is a person who derives sexual gratification from observing the sex organs especially in secret. Thus, this spell allows the wizard to see through a person's clothing and examine sexual organs. Of course the gratification part must be achieved solely by the mage. The material component of the spell is a small piece of cloth and a small piece of glass. Back to list of Level 2 spells...

Kiss Of Slavery (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 3 Range: Touch Components: S Duration: Special Casting time: 1 Area of Effect: One person Saving Throw: None When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in combat). This is actually a Charm Person spell with no saving throw. Checks to break such a charm are made after twice the normal duration. The victim of this spell will obey any order unquestioningly. Back to list of Level 3 spells...

Leomund's Tiny Brothel (Alteration)

Level: 3 Range: 0 Components: V, S, M Duration: 5 hours + 1 hour/level Casting time: 3 Area of Effect: 15-foot-diameter sphere Saving Throw: None When this spell is cast, the wizard creates an unmoving, opaque, sound-proof of any desired color around his person. Up to 7 other man-sized creatures can fit into the field with its creator, and these can freely pass into and out of the brothel without harming it, but if the spellcaster removes himself from it, the spell dissipate. The temperature inside the hut is a cool 60 degrees Fahrenheit, if the exterior temperature is between 0 and 100 degrees. An exterior temperature below 0 and above 100 lowers or raises, respectively, the interior temperature on a 1 degree-for-1 degree basis. The tiny brothel also provides protection against the elements, such as rain, dust, sandstorms, and the like. The hut can withstand any wind of less than hurricane force without being harmed, but wind force greater than that destroys it. The interior of the hut is a hemisphere; the spellcaster can illuminate it dimly upon command, or extinguish the light as desired. The floor of the hut is soft and springy. Nice big cushy pillows are also in the brothel. The spellcaster can cause the brothel play soft romantic music upon command. Note that although the force field is opaque from the outside, it is transparent from within. Missiles, weapons, and most spell effects can pass through the hut without affecting it, although the occupants cannot be seen from outside the hut. The hut can be dispelled. The material component for this spell is a small crystal bead that shatters when the spell duration expires or the brothel is dispelled, the hair of a prostitute, and a feather (duck feathers work best). Back to list of Level 3 spells...

Protection From Disease (Abjuration)

Level: 3 Range: Touch Components: V, S, M Duration: 1 turn/level Casting time: 3 Area of Effect: Creature touched Saving Throw: None By means of this spell, the wizard bestows total invulnerability to disease. The creature can't contract, become a carrier, or pass on any disease he/she may already have. This spell doesn't cure disease it merely prevents its transfer. When a person is subject to this spell, a glowing light appears on the subject's palm. This is to assure the person has this protection on. Therefore, a person he/she can't say "Let's have sex, I have the protection on." The material component of this spell is a scoop of mold (a generic form of penicillin). NOTE: This spell probably should be limited to clerics but because only magic-user's spells are listed, this spell is listed here. Back to list of Level 3 spells...

Lovesickness (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 4 Range: 6 feet Components: V, S Duration: Special Casting time: 4 Area of Effect: One person Saving Throw: Neg. This spell makes its recipient become so much in love with the mage that as soon as she/he loses sight of the mage, the victim begins to waste away. The victim stops eating food, turns to drinking, and becomes a general wreck, fighting at a -5. As a result, she/he will die of malnutrition in a number of days equal to her/his Constitution score plus 10, and there is a 10% chance of her/him committing suicide. What's more, if the mage tells her/him to go away, she/he is compelled to do so. This unpleasant condition may wear off as a charm person, but otherwise must be treated by cure disease. Back to list of Level 4 spells...

Sex Change (Alteration, Evocation)

Level: 6 Range: 5 yards/level Components: V, S, M Duration: Permanent (ALTERNATE: 1 week/level) Casting time: 6 Area of Effect: 1 creature Saving Throw: Neg. This spell causes the victim's sex to change. Thus, a male becomes female and visa-versa. A save vs. spell negates the effects. After the change, the victim will be confused for 1d10 turns. Also, he/she will have a percent chance equal to his/her Constitution of going insane because of the trauma. The DM must make sure the victim of the spell acts in the manner appropriate to the sex. If not, then the spell doesn't really seem powerful. Back to list of Level 6 spells...

Kiss Of The Nereid (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 8 Range: Touch Components: S Duration: Instantaneous Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 creature Saving Throw: See below When the kiss is bestowed, the victim must roll a successful saving throw vs. breath weapon, with a -2 penalty, or drown instantly. If he/she doesn't drown, he/she finds total ecstasy. Back to list of Level 8 spells...

Power Word, Castrate (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 8 Range: 5 yards/two level Components: V Duration: Permanent Casting time: 8 Area of Effect: 10-foot-radius sphere Saving Throw: None When this spell is cast, one or more male creatures of any type within the spell range and area of effect are castrated. The power word castrates one creature with 60 hit points, or it castrates two or more creatures with 10 or fewer hit points, up to a maximum of 120 hit points. The option to attack a single creature, or multiple creatures, must be stated along with the spell range and area of effect center. The current hit points of the creatures are used. Back to list of Level 8 spells...

Heartbreaker (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 9 Range: 6 feet Components: V, S Duration: Permanent Casting Time: 1/2 Area of Effect: 1 creature Saving Throw: Neg. This spell induces a sudden heart attack in its recipient. A save vs. death is allowed. If the saving throw is failed, the creature makes a Constitution check. If the check fails, the creature dies. If the creature survives, he/she will be totally incapacitated for 1d6+6 game weeks. He/she will also permanently lose one point of Strength and one point of Constitution, and will have a 5% chance of a future heart attack every time he/she ever is required to make a Constitution check. Note that this spell does require its victim to have a heart, so not all creatures can be affected (i.e. golems, undead, slime, etc). Back to list of Level 9 spells...

Kiss Of Death (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 9 Range: Touch Components: S Duration: Permanent Casting Time: 1/2 Area of Effect: 1 creature Saving Throw: None When the kiss is bestowed, the creature is slain (maximum of 150 hit points can be taken away). After 1d10 rounds the corpse turns to dust. The creature can't be resurrected. (See Ya! Wouldn't want to be Ya!) Back to list of Level 9 spells...

Summon Cissaldan (Conjuration/Summoning)

(As in Harlan Ellison's short "How's the Night Life On Cissalda?") Level: 9 Range: 30 yards Components: V, S Duration: Special Casting Time: 9 Area of Effect: None Saving Throw: None The casting of this spell will cause an interdimensional connection between the world of the spell caster and the alternate world of the Cissaldans. The utterance of this spell attracts one Cissaldan which will come through the connection and attack whomever the spell caster directs the spell against. The recipient has an immediate desire to "do a disgusting thing with a disgusting thing" and will fall upon the Cissaldan with much vigor. The recipient will not be able to do or say anything else since his or her complete concentration is centered on the Cissaldan. The two will continue to copulate until the recipient dies of starvation. There is no known way of separating someone (or something since the Cissaldans do not discriminate in any way) from a Cissaldan until the recipient dies. After the death of the spell recipient, the Cissaldan will return to the world from which it came. Cissaldans are described as having two penises, two vaginas, and are physically "disgusting" to look at. They, however, love to make love so to speak, and can physically adapt to any sexual physiology. Back to list of Level 9 spells...

Magic Items Your Mom Wouldn't Approve Of

Breast Plate +1                               600
Figurine Of The Willing WonTon                400
Lipsticks Of The Houri
     - Sleeping                              1000
     - Wounding                              1000
     - Weakness                              2000
     - Slavery                               3000
     - Nereid                                8000
     - Death                                 9000
Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy            500
Perfume/Musk Of Attraction                    500
Rahasia's Whirlpool Tub Of Love               500
Ring Of The Bulls                             300
Ring Of Perversion                            ---
Ring Of Protection                           1500
Sheet Of Useful Toys                          300
Sword Of Castration                          2000
Underwear Of Virginity                        200
Wand Of Vibration                            1000
Other Related Magic Items from DM's Guide
Girdle Of Femininity/Masculinity              ---     p. 170
Keoghtom's Ointment                           500     p. 173
Periapt of Health                           1,000     p. 176

Breast Plate +1

This piece of armor gives the wearer a +1 bonus to adjustment to armor class. Thus, a wearer with AC of 5 will have an AC of 4 when this breast plate is worn. This armor is made of a strange substance referred to by mages as Silicon.

Figurine Of The Willing WonTon

This appears as a tiny (an inch or so high) statuette of a lovely male or female. When the figurine is tossed down and a command word spoken, it becomes a very attractive living normal sized person that will serve him/her. The person serves willingly and well, but at the end of 12 hours it returns to statue form. The figurine does not come with any gear or clothes. The mount can't do anything but perform basic sexual acts.

Lipstick Of The Houri

This lipstick gives its wearer a limited kiss ability mimicking the spell of the same name. The effects last double the duration of the spell. Each stick is good for 5 applications and each application lasts for 1-6 kisses.

Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy

This engraved gem appears to be a gem of small value. This periapt provides 100% protection against pregnancy for males and females.

Perfume/Musk Of Attraction

This liquid increases the wearer's charisma by 1 point. The duration is 1d20 hours. The liquid comes in a small bottle with 2d20 applications.

Rahasia's Whirlpool Tub Of Love

Legend states that this enchanted whirlpool tub was created by Rahasia, Mage Priestess of Ishtar, The Priestess of Love. Whirlpools like this do appear in all Ishtar temples and the best appears at Rashasia's. Now, tubs appear all over Oerth and the Realms mainly as an item of the rich and famous. The tub is approximately 5 feet by 5 feet by 5 feet with side seats in it. The tub can create air bubbles at the bottom that flow delightfully to the top. Also, the temperature of the water can be controlled. Command words are as followed:

     Temperature   Command         Bubbles   Command
        Cold       Frigus          Low       Humilis
        Warm       Calidus         Medium    Modus
        Hot        Fervidus        High      Alte

Some clever clerics and mages have created gems that cause the same effects as the whirlpool tub when they are placed in a small body of water.

Ring Of The Bulls

This regular ring is engraved with a bull head. When worn by a male, his more-private anatomy increases in size. The size is dependant on the type of the ring (Roll 1d12):
    Die Roll   Ring Type           Effect
      1-5      Calf                Add 1/3 of the size
      6-9      Young               Add 1/2 of the size
     10-11     Bull                Double the size
      12       THE BEAST           Triple the size     <- dangerous
The male also gains a +1 to constitution checks during sex.

Ring Of Perversion

Cursed ring that can only be removed by a remove curse spell. While the ring is worn, the person suffers the effects of a sexual insanity (roll on the insanity table).

Ring Of Protection

This large ring is for males only and doesn't go on fingers or toes. It provides 100% protection from pregnancy and sexual diseases (both magical and natural).

Sheet Of Useful Toys

This appears to a normal sheet adorned with about 20 small cloth patches of various shapes. Anybody can remove a patch. Detaching a patch causes it to become an actual item. The item is some exciting sexual toy. The toy could be anything like oil, a whip, blindfold, body lotion, body paint, or anything else the DM images.

Sword Of Castration

This weapon has a +2 bonus to hit and damage. The real power of the sword is when the attacker rolls a non-adjusted 20 on the attack roll. When this occurs, the victim (if male, ignore if female) will lose his most treasured body part. Legend has it that this sword was created by evil (and bitter) Amazon Warriors.

Underwear Of Virginity

This underwear is very popular among protective fathers. When worn, the underwear cannot be removed without the command word (usually the father's middle name said backwards). The underwear is normal in respects to touch, but it is impossible to rip or tear. The underwear also magically disposes of body waste before it leaves the body, so there is no mess and absolutely no reason to remove it.

Wand Of Vibration

This wand has a small dial at one end. In magical ruins on one end of the dial it reads "Pleasant Tingle" and at the other end of the dial it reads "The Crusher". The last setting is very dangerous and can cause 1 point of structural damage per round to any materials less than or equal to rock. Also, this setting cause 1d10 points of damage per round to anybody foolish enough to place the wand in a body cavity at such a high setting.

Other magic items being worked on:

Wand of Instant Gratification (ecstasy spell) - Morgan

Helm of Horniness (cursed item) - Morgan

Cupid's Chaotic Arrows

These arrows are the work of 'Irnar the chaotic mage (protege Morgan Blackheart of the Chaotic Realm). Sometimes while trying to enchant an arrow his mind wanders to perverse or romantic thoughts and the actual enchantment isn't quite what he wants. He sells such "rejects" to the local weapons store at discount prices (which are still quite high due to the power of most of them). The weapons dealers then sell the arrows to foolish adventurers. They advertise the arrows as "Gifts from the Love Gods", "Missile Weapons for the Mature", and "If You Like Chaos...". Then, the dealers inflate the price and make a bundle. The arrows are available infrequently and at high cost. (One of the most popular dealers is Secondhand Stan the Pawn and Porno Man).

These arrows are never predictable in their effects. Roll percentile dice and divide by three (round fractions consistently). Arrows may be used only once, at which time they disintegrate into a worthless pile of dust unless stated otherwise. A successful hit from an attack roll must be made to initiate an effect unless stated otherwise. They do not do damage unless stated otherwise.

Mainly chaotic characters use the arrows. Also, characters with a low wisdom tend to use them a lot more that others.


  1. The arrow is reflected back at the archer. Roll again to see the effects on the archer ignoring this result.

  2. The victim's Charisma is increased by 1d6 to a max. of 18 for 1d4 days.

  3. The victim's Comeliness is increased by 1d10 to a max. of 30 for 1d4 days.

  4. The victim's Dexterity with respect to sexual ability increases 1d6 to a max. of 18 for 1d4 day.

  5. The victim's Constitution with respect to sexual ability increases 1d6 to a max. of 18 for 1d4 day.

  6. All clothing, armor, and personal belongings carried on the victim fall to ground leaving the victim naked.

  7. The victim will fall in love with the first living creature of the opposite sex to meet his/her gaze and feel compelled to follow the creature for 1d4 days in hope to win her/his love.

  8. The victim will fall in love with the first living creature of the opposite sex of the same race to meet his/her gaze and feel compelled to follow the creature for 1d4 days in hope to win her/his love.

  9. The victim goes into a melancholy depression for 1d4 days during which he/she feels compelled to recite and attempt to write love poetry.

  10. The victim becomes infatuated with himself/herself for 1d4. He/She spends a lot of his/her money on mirrors, fine clothing, perfumes, cosmetics, etc..

  11. The victim feels the urge to kiss a living creature of the opposite sex and same race, and will make every attempt to do so.

  12. The victim feels the "urge to merge" a living creature of the opposite sex and same race, and will make every attempt to do so.

  13. "Love is blind" so victim becomes blind for 1d4 days.

  14. The victim becomes "drunk on love". Therefore, he/she is affected as if intoxicated for 1d4 days.

  15. The victim becomes "crazed with love" for 1d4 hours. Thus, he/she is confused. Roll 1d10 for the results:
         1    Wander away (unless prevented)
         2-6  Stand confused one turn (then roll again)
         7-9  Attack nearest creature for 1 turn (then roll again)
         10   Act normally for 1 turn (then roll again)

  16. The victim becomes "love struck" for 1d4 days. Thus, he/she goes into a state of suspended animation. This cessation of time means that the victim does not grow older. His/her body functions virtually cease.

  17. "Nothin' says lovin' like a bun in the oven", so female victims become impregnated. Roll 1d10 to find out what the child is:
         1-5  same race as parent
         6-9  other common race (elf, human, dwarf, halfling, etc.)
         10   Demon
    Male victims suffer 4d6 points of damage as punishment for going around and getting innocent females pregnant.

  18. "Say love with the gift that lasts: a diamond". The tip of the arrow turns into a diamond during its flight. The recipient's Armor Class becomes 10 due to the piercing of the diamond (dexterity bonuses still apply). The diamond-tipped arrow inflicts 1d10 points of damage. The diamond is worth roughly 1d4 X 1000 silver pieces.

  19. "Love is in the eyes of the beholder". During the flight of the arrow, it becomes a 70 hp beholder (Monstrous Compendium Vol. 1) and attacks the intended recipient of the arrow. Upon the victim's destruction, the beholder will attack randomly.

  20. The victim begins dancing for 1d4+1 rounds, complete with feet shuffling and tapping. This dance makes it impossible for the victim to do anything other than caper and prance; this cavorting worsens the Armor Class of the victim by -4, makes saving throws impossible except on a roll of 20, and negates any consideration of a shield.

  21. The victim has the urge to become a prostitute and will attempt to fulfill this urge for 1d4 days.

  22. The victim contracts a random normal sexual disease.

  23. The victim contracts a random magical sexual disease.

  24. The victim contracts a random sexual insanity.

  25. The victim attracts frogs for 1d4 days. The frogs are plain, ordinary frogs whether you kiss them or not.

  26. If the victim is male, he develops large breasts for 1d4 days. If the victim is female, she develops an enormous amount of body hair and will prefer to urinate standing up.

  27. The arrow is a Heartbreaker. The arrow turns into a lightning bolt that inflicts 10d6 points of damage upon contact. A successful save vs. spell reduces the damage to half (round fractions down).

  28. The arrow is a Screamer. The whistling sound is like the sound of a bomb falling, but without any effect whatsoever. Normal damage.

  29. The arrow becomes semi-intelligent with a great knowledge of poetry equal to a bard's. It will constantly follow the victim around receipting all forms of love poetry.

  30. The arrow turns into a rose upon contact.

  31. REROLL

  32. REROLL

Houri: Wizard Kit

This kit is based on knowledge from The Complete Wizard's Handbook. To understand character kits and their use, please reference chapter 3 of the said guide.


The Houri is a nymph of paradise. She was born in a seedy section of a city, growing up in a poor and miserable life but dreaming of a better future. Yet, instead of turning to a life of thievery like most, her beauty and intelligence leads her to a life a magic. Once there, she specializes in charming, enchanting, and seducing.

Some people look down upon her as a disgusting prostitute and vixen. Others view her as a sensual beauty and the most desirable being on the Prime Material Plane.

In addition to normal magic-user requisites, the Houri must have a minimum Charisma of 15 (her voluptuously alluring beauty and charm being evident). Also, a Houri is female (although adjustments can be made for men and thus a Gigolo wizard kit is born). Furthermore, she must be of chaotic alignment.

Preferred schools

The most appropriate school for the Houri is enchantment/charm.

Barred schools

All other schools are barred.


The Houri is a fun-loving, charming person who can find herself mingling at all the high-class parties with many men-a-calling. She can also be found being a high-class prostitute for the wealthy and well-to-do. Her magic abilities are not always known by the company she keeps, which leads to mystery on why she is so alluring.

Having a terrible and trapped childhood, the Houri is glad to adventure, traveling to many cities being the flirt in each. Her abilities of charm and communication make her valuable when in contact with intelligent beings (shes so irresistible). Because of this, she tends to be viewed as the leader of the group, although this probably isn't true (such matters of tactics, marching order, etc. are of little importance to her).

Weapon proficiency

Required: dagger or knife. The Houri is often fond of long, thin pins such as hat-pins and hair-pins, which can be easily concealed on the Houri's person and do 1-3 points of damage.

Nonweapon proficiency

Bonus: Etiquette, any one of the sexual proficiencies listed in this guide (player's choice).

Recommended: (General) Artistic Ability, Dancing, Languages (Modern), Singing (Rogue, no penalty), Gaming.


The Houri can spend her money on anything she likes. Remember, that the Houri should maintain a level of high beauty. Thus, jewelry, fine clothing, and perfumes are a favorite items of purchase for a Houri.

Special benefits

The Houri has a special power of seduction. Seduction is an ability which is used against individual males of the same or similar race as the Houri. The Houri's percentage chance of seducing is given by the following formula:
                                          Houri's level
                                    --------------------------  X 100
                                    victim's level + modifiers
     Fighter  +3         Elf/Half-elf          +1         * +1 for each
     Rogue    +3         Dwarf/Gnome/Halfling  +2           outsider
     Mage     +4         Orc/Half-orc          -1           (see below)
     Cleric   +5
       1    -6           08-14  0
       2    -4            15   +1
       3    -3            16   +2
       4    -2            17   +3
     05-07  -1            18   +4
     Heavily clothed               +1
     Scantily/Provocatively clad   -1
     Nude                          -2
      (The latter state will not be terribly practical under
      most circumstances, and might well lead to arrest for
      indecent exposure.)

A seduced man will drop his weapons, become oblivious to his surroundings, and attempt to engage the Houri in a passionate embrace. In such a state he is extremely vulnerable (especially to kiss spells which are very popular amongst Houris). However, if the Houri does not attempt to use a spell on a seduced victim, he is allowed to make his saving throw vs. spell. If this is successful, then he realizes what has happened in which case the seduction is broken and he cannot be immediately seduced again. Breaking the seduction, however, does not affect the success of the spell being used.

Seduction cannot be used in combat and cannot work against other females except those that are homosexuals. The presence of other individuals in close proximity (within ten feet, or obviously watching) will reduce the chance of success of the seduction attempt. For each outsider present, add 1 to the modifier.

Seduction lasts for a number of turns equal to five times the Houri's level, or until broken. It can be broken in a number of ways, i.e. if the Houri attempts to use a kiss spell as above, or if she resists his attentions (the victim is allowed his saving throw vs. spell each time she does so), or if the victim is attacked. In the latter case, the seduction is instantly broken.

Seduction can only be used on a single individual at a time; a Houri may use the ability a number of times per day equal to her level.

Example of the use of seduction

Lirona the Houri (3rd level, human) is attempting to seduce Thad Leaf the thief (5th level, human). The scene is the Golden Griffon Inn. There are a number of other people present but no one is paying any particular attention to the pair. Lirona's chance of seducing Thad is equal to 3 (her level) X 100 divided by 5 (Thad's level) +3 (modified for a thief), i.e. 300 / 8 = 37.5%. Lirona rolls 30. Success! Thad is taken in by her charms. However, a bar is no place for a romantic liaison. Eagerly he accompanies her upstairs to her room, his arm around her slim waist, not suspecting the fate that awaits him when he gets there...!!!

Additionally, the Houri receives a +3 reaction modifier from men.

Special hindrances

A Houri is not allowed to wear protective armor; indeed, the less clothing she wears, the more effective she is.

The Houri receives a -3 reaction modifier from women, for obvious reasons.

The Houri refuses to live the terrible poor life she once had. Thus, when making purchase, the Houri accepts nothing but the best, whether it be a meal, a room for the night, a weapon, or even a chest to carry her possessions. Any time she buys any item, the Houri must pay 10 to 100 percent more than the listed price in the Player's Handbook. The DM will decide the price paid by the Houri, which may vary from item to item, depending on the quality of merchandise in a particular locale.

Wealth options

The Houri receives only (1d4+1) x 5 GP for starting money.


A Houri can only be human, elven, or half-eleven.


Overall prostitutes

Before getting to know a specific prostitute, the prostitute pool should be known. The DM may make adjustments as she/she deems necessary.

To decide the number of prostitutes in a given settlement examine Table 1. Make adjustments based on alignment of the settlement (Table 2). NOTE: Most DMs feel that the number of prostitutes should never exceed 10% of the total population unless the settlements primary function is prostitution. Therefore, adjustments should be made accordingly.

TABLE 1: Number of Prostitutes
     Settlement        Population       # Of Prostitutes
     Thorp               20-80                1d6
     Hamlet             100-400               1d10
     Village, Wych      600-900               1d20
     Town              1500-6500              1d100
     City             10000-60000             2d100
TABLE 2: Alignment Adjustments To # Of Prostitutes
     Lawful    divide by 2
     Chaotic   multiply by 2
     Good      divide by 2
     Evil      multiply by 2
Information on prostitutes working under management can be found in the "The House Of Ill Repute" section.

Getting a feel for the prostitute

Not all prostitutes are alike. Below are the steps necessary to make a very unique and exciting prostitute.
  1. Choose an appropriate sex for the prostitute. Randomly, there is a 80% of female prostitutes and a 20% of male prostitutes.

  2. Choose an appropriate race in respects to the environment (i.e. area, population, politics, etc.).

  3. Generate ability scores as describe on page 13 of the Player's Handbook. Method IV is suggested. The prostitutes highest ability should probably be constitution.

  4. Height and weight can be generated randomly using Table 3. Take the appropriate base score and add the die roll modifier.

  5. Roll on Table 4 three times to get hair color, eye color, and complexion.

  6. Age can be generated randomly using Table 5. Take the appropriate base age and add the die roll modifier.

  7. The various measurements of a women can be generated as followed:

    • Roll on Table 6 to get the vital measurement statistic.
    • To find bust size, add the Vital Statistic to the proper Bust modifier (Table 7).
    • To find waist size, add the Vital Statistic to the proper Waist modifier (Table 7) .
    • To find hip size, add the Bust to the proper Hips adjustment (Table 7).

    If the woman's height is below 5 feet, then modify bust and hips by -2.

  8. The major measurement of a man is 1d8+4 inches.

  9. With prostitutes can come bad things. Roll on Table 9 to decide if anything bad comes with the prostitute. Then, roll on the appropriate table in the appropriate section of the guide.

  10. With prostitutes can come good things as well. Namely, specialties that the buyer may really like. Roll on Table 10 to decide if anything extra comes with the prostitute. With specialties come additional costs. Adjustments to cost are shown on this table as well. (Cost is calculate next.)

  11. The average cost to hire a prostitute is 1000 SP / number of prostitutes available. Thus, the average cost for a prostitute in a town with 10 prostitutes is 100 SP each.

    Adjustments are made based on inclination. Roll on Table 10 to get inclination with adjustments from Table 11 and Table 12. Add the listed percent of the current cost to the current cost to get the new cost. Inclination is just an attitude that the prostitute has towards the prospective client which affects the price.

    Another adjustment is made based on specialty, which was calculated early (Table 9). Add the listed percent of the current cost to the current cost to get the new cost.

    The last adjustment is made based on the race of the prostitute. Multiple the multiplier from Table 13 to the current cost to get the final cost. (NOTE: This adjustment is mainly for human settlements. An all dwarven settlement would have a higher demand for other creatures then dwarves. Thus, prices for humans would probably be more.)

    Additional costs can manifest itself when patronizing a courtesan. A player might have to spend money on a meal (they got to eat too), alcoholic beverages (no doubt), a room (unless you like doing it in an alley), and medical expenses (you give them a disease, you pay for it).

Now, a nice versatile prostitute has been created, but there still is room for improvement. Keep in mind that some prostitutes are thieves (probably high-level) and should have such abilities. Some could even be fighters with weapon specializations in knives and daggers. There could even be cleric prostitutes who worship some evil deity of lust.

The thing to remember is that a DM can use a prostitute as a very important NPC. Prostitutes usually have information (dirt) on everybody who passes through their beds; not to mention pillow talk info. that shouldn't have been told. A prostitute is more interesting than the old fat tavern keeper with old boring stories. Keep this in mind, before throwing out such an encounter.

TABLE 3: Height And Weight
              Height in Inches        Weight In Pounds
Race         Base*     Modifier      Base*      Modifier
Dwarf        43/41     1d10          130/105     4d10
Elf          55/50     1d10           90/70      3d10
Gnome        38/36     1d6            72/68      5d4
Half-Elf     60/58     2d6           110/85      3d12
Halfling     32/30     2d8            52/48      5d4
Human        60/59     2d10          140/100     6d10
* Females tend to be lighter and shorter than males. Thus, the base numbers for height and weight are divided into male/female values. Note that the modifier will allow for a broad range in each category.
TABLE 4: Color Stats.
Roll    Hair Color       Eye Color           Complexion
01-13   Brunette         Lt. Blue            Dusky Olive
14-26   Blond            Dk. Green           Bronze
27-34   Auburn           Hazel               Milky White
35-42   Sable            Brown               Ebony
43-50   Crimson          Crimson             Lt. Red
51-58   Silver           Silver              Yellow
59-67   White            Lt. Green           Brown
68-75   Sky Blue         Dk. Blue            Golden
76-83   Lt. Green        Pink                CHOOSE
84-91   Lilac            CHOOSE              CHOOSE
92-99   Iridescent       CHOOSE              CHOOSE
 00     Bald             Each Eye Diff.      CHOOSE

TABLE 5: Age Race Base Modifier Dwarf 40 5d6 Elf 100 5d6 Gnome 60 3d12 Half-Elf 15 1d6 Halfling 20 3d4 Human 15 1d4

TABLE 6: Vital Measurement Statistic Die Roll Vital Stat. 01-30 22" 31-50 23" * CONSTITUTION V.S. MODIFIER 51-65 24" 3-8 -2 66-77 25" 9-12 0 78-82 26" 13-18 +2 83-85 27" 86-90 28" 91-94 29" 95-97 30" 98-99 31" 00 32"

TABLE 7: The Measurements Charisma * Bust Waist Hips 3 0 5-30" +6d6" 4-5 5-8" 2-12" +1d6" 6-8 6-9" 1-4" 0 9-11 7-10" 1-2" 0 12-15 8-11" 0 0 16-17 9-12" 0 -1" 18 10-12" 0 -2"

* Optionally, you may prefer to use Comeliness rather than Charisma since Comeliness is a better representation of beauty.
TABLE 8: Prostitute Extras
Roll   Extra
01-49  Nothing
50-79  Natural Disease
80-89  Magical Disease
90-99  Insanity

TABLE 9: Specialty Die Roll Specialty Adjustment 01-49 Nothing 0 50-69 Massage + 10% 70-79 Anal Sex + 20% 80-89 Oral Sex + 40% 90-97 Bondage + 60% 98-99 Roll Twice + 80% 00 Roll Thrice + 100%

TABLE 10: Inclination Die Roll Inclination Adjustment 01 Loathe + 100% 02 Hate + 75% 03-04 Dislike + 50% 05-06 Aloof + 25% 07-08 Sympathetic - 30% 09-11 Interested - 40% 12-14 Playful - 50% 15-16 Capacious - 60% 17-18 Fondness - 70% 19 Infatuation - 80% 20 Passionate - 90%

TABLE 11: Disposition Modifier To Inclination Die Roll Disposition Mod. 01-02 Angry -3 03-04 Jealous -2 05-07 Pensive -1 08-10 Tired 0 11-13 Tender +1 14-15 Excited +2 16-17 Ardent +3 18-19 Erotic +5 20 Obsessed +6

TABLE 12: Charisma Of Client Modifier To Inclination Charisma Mod. 0-12 0 13-16 +1 17 +2 18 +3

TABLE 13: Racial Multipliers to cost Race Multiplier Human 1.0 Elven 5.0 Half-Elven 2.5 Dwarven 3.0 Halfling 4.0 Orchish 0.5 Half-Orchish 0.7 Exotic (Other) 8.0

Filling The House Of Ill Repute

The information for this section is taken from
The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.)

A brothel, bawdy house, whore house, relaxation emporium, or whatever the name are places where a person may go for an evening of entertainment (so to speak).

     A brothel comes in three sizes:    Size      Employees
                                        Small        4d4
                                        Medium       6d6
                                        Large        8d8
In addition to the regular employees listed above, there will be a number of amateurs who use a house as a base. They will usually average 50% of the regular staff of that house. There will usually be a small number of girls in training, frequently working as maids for the top regulars. They will number approximately 25% of the regulars - these girls do not yet work with the customers.

As Table 1 shows, there are four classes of brothels. The DM can roll randomly or choose. Slavery is banned in most places, but not all; so it is included in the table.

TABLE 1: Brothel Classes
Roll      Class
01-03     Fine
04-12     Normal
13-16     Low
17-20     Slave

House amateurs usually receive about one-half the going rate; one does not find amateurs on a slave house. The racial mix in the average house of its class is given on Table 2; one may either specify the race of the girl involved (as in the rules in the prostitute random generator), or roll dice (1d100) for each girl to see who's available.

TABLE 2: Races Found In Different Classes
Race              Fine    Normal   Low    Slave
Human             01-62   01-67   01-70   01-60
Elven             63-70   68-70    ---    61-64
Half-Elven        71-82   71-79   71-75   65-74
Dwarven           83-84    80      ---     75
Halfling           85      81      ---     76
Orchish           86-88   82-87   76-84   77-84
Half-Orchish      89-97   88-99   85-00   85-95
Exotic (Other)    98-00    00      ---    96-00
Houses tend to be run by women, although some are managed by men (occasionally chosen by the girls, frequently simply the "boss" who has hired them). If run by a woman, she is usually (80%) a high rank courtesan herself, and will occasionally be available to preferred (wealthy - and I do mean filthy, stinkin' rich) customers.

There are usually some additional costs involved in patronizing a courtesan in such an establishment. Although entertainment is usually provided at no extra cost in the major houses, a character should expect to spend the price of the girl's meal and alcoholic beverages. If a character should wish to spend the entire night with the lady of his choice, the cost increase by 50%. This does, of course, provide one with a room for the night as well as a cuddly bed companion. If a man is dealing with one of the girls who work on the street, there is a 25% surcharge to provide a room, unless the customer has nearby (within 2 to 3 blocks at the farthest) quarters.

Time spent in a house can be as much as 4 to 6 hours (if not overnight). With one of the street girls, an interlude should occupy about 1-1/2 to 2 hours.

The chance of a prostitute having a disease is less based on the class of a house in which the girl works. The higher the class of the house, the better health care the girls receive, and the lower the chances of infection.

In a Normal house, there is a -5% modifier to the chance of the girl being infected. In a Fine house, there is a -10% modifier to the chance of the girl being infected. In a Slave house, there is a -15% modifier to the chance of the girl being infected. This is high because most slavers consider losing income or valuable property to disease uneconomical. With the girls on the street, there is no modifier to the chance of the girl being infected.

Case: The Blue Tavern (Entertainment And Pleasure)

The information for this section is taken from

The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.)

The Blue Tavern

(Entertainment and pleasure)


Kinalla Silkskin (STR: 9, DEX: 9, CON: 15, INT: 12, WIS: 9, CHA: 12) was once considered the most beautiful and accomplished courtesan in the city (40 years ago). She is still attractive (particularly for the generic set), and will occasionally entertain a customer. Black- haired (with the help of a good hairdresser), black-eyed, and still slender, she has a good business mind, and succeed in purchasing the Blue Lantern from its former madame some 20 years ago; the quality and name of the establishment have increased under her management.


24 hours a day.


A three-story building that is slightly inset from the street proper. It has a wide opening centered on the ground floor, above which hangs a large lantern which glows blue (the color is intense enough to be easily distinguished even in full daylight). There is an ally on the south side of the building, a walled garden in the rear, and a row of small shops to the immediate north.


Immediately inside the opening is a spacious room dominated by a fountain which sprays a lightly scented blue liquid into the air above the wide basin. Three elaborately carved screens block the view of the other exits from this room.

Behind the screen to the left is a lounge (to handle the musicians and entertainers who perform in the theater). A hall leads to the wings of the theater, and to a dressing room. To the right is a large office, where the accounting and management personnel work. It is seldom occupied after about 6:00 PM, and is almost always locked, even during normal business hours.

The opening behind the third screen leads to a room with a wide marble staircase. To the left is the "Hall of Beauty".. where many fair flowers wait to be plucked. There are usually 4d4 girls lounging about here, in various states of revealment. A wide opening leads to the entertainment area, where wine and song are provided (if you came through the Hall, you already have the women). The theater area is two stories, and has a large stage with a runway and an orchestra pit. A long bar in the rear dispenses alcoholic beverages of many kinds. Meals may be ordered from the kitchen. Most of the food supplies for both the girls and the customers are stored in the pantry off the kitchen.

The remainder of the house is devoted to living (and working) quarters for the regular girls. The smaller rooms on the second and third floors are used for the transient entertainment of clients. The larger rooms area housing for the regulars. Kinalla has a suite on the third floor, with a circular iron staircase giving access to both the garden and the bar.

Price range

As per the girl's qualifications.


This house is Fine, and of medium size.

Outstanding items

There is young newcomer, Bianca (STR: 8, DEX: 10, CON: 18, INT: 9, WIS: 7, CHA: 15), who has made quite a splash with the customers. She is the runaway daughter of a noble family and is a neutral courtesan. She has altered her name and dyed her hair to change her appearance.

Cash box

The money gained in the theater-bar is kept in a wooden coffer stashed under the curved end of the bar. The girls are responsible for collecting their own earnings, and are expected to pay one-quarter to the house (if Kinalla discovers a girl is cheating on the amounts, she simply requests her to leave and not return; Kinalla does not believe in violence).


Staff: Kinalla, Bianca, and 17 other girls (11 of whom split the large rooms used for residence). There are 12 part-timers, 3 maidens-in- training, and various ancillary service personnel (none of whom reside in the house). The bouncer, Kethelas (STR: 17, DEX: 14, CON: 11, INT: 10, WIS: 7, CHA: 10), a bull of a man with sufficient physical power to toss an unruly customer lightly over the garden wall into the alley, has worked at the Blue Lantern as long as Kinalla, and has been her best friend and lover nearly that long.

Customers: Many.

NPC Encounters

A cast of thousands.

Special options



The Nobleman's Daughter

Player's Information: In most of the taverns of the city, the disappearance of Lady Byelaya Tainley some three months ago caused many whispers. She still has not been located, and no ransom note has been received by her family. Descriptions of the 16 year old girl (very beautiful and highly attractive, medium height, slender, blonde hair, blue eyes) have been nosed about, and the family is offering a reward of 1,000 silver pieces for news of her. The girl was always known as a loner by the other maidens of the high, rich quarter. She had only one close friend - Cortina de la Riis.

DM's Notes: Byelaya Tainley has had dreams of being a hetaera (a very high class courtesan) since she heard, as young girl, a very romantic story in which the heroine was a courtesan (she had confided these dreams to no one, not even her closet friend). Three months ago, she dyed her hair brown, changed her name to Bianca, and ran away from home. She began working at the Blue Lantern. No one at the house knows her origins, and certainly no one suspects she is the daughter of a noble house. Bianca (byelaya - both names mean "white") is a natural courtesan - she enjoys men, and men definitely enjoy her. She has that indefinable quality of innocence that is irresistible. She has rapidly progressed, in the little time she has been at the Blue Lantern, from a very green novice to a competent intermediate.

A few weeks ago, Cortina de la Riis, Byelaya's only close friend among the girls of the rich section, was traveling to her voice lessons and spotted a young girl with brown hair who closely resembled Byelaya (Bianca had gone out to do a little shopping, and was not wearing her veil) except for the hair color. Cortina has worried about Byelaya since her disappearance, and has asked her brother Thomas to check out the girl she spotted circumspectly. Thomas is looking around for a group to do some investigating on this matter, and there is a chance he may choose the player-characters to do the job.

Encounter Non-player Characters


Kuber Hasbin: Note that the information for this section is taken from The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.) page L-2.

Kuber lives and works in the deepest wilds of the city. His house includes a clinic in which he treats anyone who walks in the door (he has even been known to make house calls!), regardless of financial status (there ain't none in his part of town). Kuber doesn't practice healing for the love of mankind (or any other race, for that matter). He is totally interested in the spectrum of disease available in the area. At times he has been heard to comment that he has "seen diseases I would not have believed it possible for a person to contract. With what this one man had, he should have been dead 5 years ago!" Kuber's house is given an unobtrusive guard by the Thieves' Guild, who appreciate the work he is doing, whatever his motivation. Anyone in the quarter can give directions to Kuber's House.


Midwife: This encounter is with a solitary female, whose job it is to deliver babies. The midwife will be returning from a delivery or going to one (in which case she will be in a hurry).

She will only react in a friendly manner if she is approached with great caution. She will flee on an adjusted reaction score of 55 or less, and on a score of 25 or less she seek the help of a patrol to apprehend the offenders who "scared" her (whether they actually did or not).

There is a 20% chance that the midwife will possess useful information, which she will freely divulge to party members if she is befriended first. She will be offended by an offer to pay her for what she knows.


NOTE that this encounter was taking from an old adventure and contradicts other prostitute information that is found in this guide.

This encounter is a one or more women (can be men for women adventurers). The DM must decide the number relative to population, law, underworld activity, etc..

A prostitute will be somewhat annoying trying to convince her prey that she is desirable. If she succeeds, her fee is usually between 20 and 100 SP.

There is a 75% chance that a prostitute will possess valuable information. Such information requires a fee of course. There is also a 25% chance that the prostitute has a disease (natural or magical).

A New Look At Monsters

Given the multitude of items in this guide, the old monsters that habit a campaign world can be rediscovered or a new light. Below is a list of monsters that are or can be sensual, sexual, and seductive in nature.

Monster        2nd Edition                   1st Edition         page
Alu-demon      ---------                     Monster Manual II   35
Doppleganger   Monstrous Compendium 2        Monster Manual I    29
Dryad          Monstrous Compendium 2        Monster Manual I    35
Foxwoman       Monstrous Compendium 2        Monster Manual II   80
Harpy          Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual I    51
Kelpie         Monstrous Compendium 2        Fiend Folio         55
Lamia          Monstrous Compendium 2        Monster Manual I    59
Lamia Noble    Monstrous Compendium 2        Fiend Folio         59
Medusa         Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual I    66
Nereid         Monstrous Compendium 2        Monster Manual II   95
Nixie          Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual I    74
Nymph          Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual I    74
Penaggalan     ---------                     Fiend Folio         71
Satyr          Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual I    85
Sirine         ---------                     Monster Manual II  109
Succubus       ---------                     Monster Manual I    18
Sylph          Monstrous Compendium 2        Monster Manual I    93
Unicorn        Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual I    98
Vampire        Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual I    99
Wolfwere       Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual II  127

Porno Periodicals Of Humanoids

Low-intelligent beings have an obsession with smut. They love to purchase and look at pornographic periodicals. Player character's can come across such periodicals in humanoid housing, a seedy magazine stand, a gross conquered enemy, etc.. These periodicals need a name and the following system gives a periodical a name:

  1. Roll 2d10 on a Table 1 to get the race that created the periodical. The writing (if any) in the periodical will be of the preferred language of the race.
  2. To get the name of the periodical:

    • Roll 1d30 on Table 2 to get an adjective. You may roll more than once if desired.

    • Roll 1d20 on Table 3 to get an noun.

    Thus, a roll of 4 and a roll of 14 would produce Jiggling Hooters. But this isn't good enough for the old DM, so he rolls for another adjective and gets a 25 Oily Jiggling Hooters. And the roll from step 1 reveals that Orcs created this periodical. Thus, we have Oily Jiggling Hooters of Orcs.

TABLE 1: Humanoid Creators
Die                      Die
Roll  Humanoid           Roll  Humanoid
  2   Bugbear             12   Drow Elf
  3   Gully Dwarf         13   Ettin
  4   Gnoll               14   Goblin
  5   Hag                 15   Half-Orc
  6   Harpy               16   Human
  7   Hill Giant          17   Hobgoblin
  8   Kobold              18   Lizard Man
  9   Mongrelman          19   Orc
 10   Ogre                20   Troglodyte
 11   Were-Rat

TABLE 2: Adjectives Die Roll Adjective Roll Adjective Roll Adjective 1 Arousing 11 Big 21 Delectable 2 Erotic 12 Fleshly 22 Greasy 3 Hard 13 Hefty 23 Hors d'oeuvre 4 Jiggling 14 Juicy 24 Large 5 Luscious 15 Moist 25 Oily 6 Profuse 16 Savory 26 Scrumptious 7 Sensual 17 Slimy 27 Sticky 8 Stimulating 18 Succulent 28 Sumptuous 9 Swollen 19 Tantalizing 29 Tender 10 Titillating 20 Voluptuous 30 Warted

TABLE 3: Nouns Roll Noun Roll Noun 1 Balls 11 Bolas 2 Butts 12 Caves 3 Clubs 13 Dungeons 4 Holes 14 Hooters 5 Jugs 15 Knockers 6 Lingerie 16 Mounds 7 Pits 17 Rods 8 Staves 18 Strongholds 9 Stuff 19 Swords 10 Wands of Wonder 20 Wonkers

A typical periodical may contain perverse artwork, Q&As, forum, advice column, letters, or raunchy stories. They are not necessary created on printing presses. They can be hand-written or drawn by scribes or artists. The lower intelligent beings are so primitive they usually have clumps of scrolls with their perversion on them. The key for success with this system is for the DM to think. How intelligent are the authors? What resources do they possess? What is believable and realistic? This isn't a detailed system, it is merely guidelines to stimulate creative thought in the DM.

Adventuring Ideas

The Love Boat

The player characters book passage on a magic-flying luxury cruise ship nicknamed "The Love Boat" for a relaxing time in the clouds. On the ship, the PCs encounter the crew: Captain Stubing, "Gopher", "Doc", Isiac, Julie McCoy. Also, they encounter loads of interesting people and plenty of opportunities to use the rules and stuff that are presented in the guide.

Dog Man Needs A Date

An uncharismatic man hires the PCs to help him attain the affection of a lovely maiden. This allows great opportunity for role- playing, which includes buying new clothes for him, teaching him how to act, etc.. Problems could arise if the maiden falls in love with one of the PCs. Also, the maiden could have a large fighter boyfriend who could be really angry.


A PC seduces a very beautiful nice willing person. The following day, the PC meets the twin who is mean, bad, and boring. This could lead to nice effects.

Paternity Suite

After returning with the spoils of a great adventure, a male character is confronted with a paternity suit from a fair lass who he was promiscuous with only a few months ago.

Vampire & Seduction

The party is on some sort of extended vacation, staying in an inn/bar. A frequent visitor is a tall, dark, suave, charming man dressed in formal evening wear, accompanied by a different woman every time. He comes in every 2nd or 3rd night. He always orders bloody marys and doesn't drink them. He is quite wealthy and very pleasant. There is something almost magnetic about him. He has fascinating eyes. (DM should do everything he can to make it believable that he could be a vampire, despite the unusual setting (city).

Either he charms (seduction) a female party member and takes her away, or a beautiful dancer comes in looking for her missing sister, who was last seen coming to this bar with the tall dark gentleman. She tries to convince a party member to help her look for her sister being seductive about it. Both are eventually charmed by the Gentleman. In any case, make a party member disappear into this Gentleman's lair.

He has a gothic style house in a nice part of town. There is nothing obviously amiss here. If the party asks around, this guy is a pillar of society, a kind, philanthropic fellow, well respected by his peers. He runs a magic shoppe. He is a mid-level wizard with a head for business, who gave up adventuring to start a business.

His house looks just like a vampires house might look (black velvet curtains, etc). He has a private sanctuary inn his basement, the only entrance to which is a rune-encrusted door (trapped or enchanted in any way appropriate to the party). He supposedly has a chapel down there, but really has a large complex, where various vampiric rituals, and all-night parties take place. All of the missing people have been charmed into believing that they have been turned into slave vampires. They will aid their master if at all possible.

The party must break in and forcibly take their companion away from this place. Again, make the evidence somewhat contradictory whether the Gentleman is a vampire or not. Most evidence should say yes, but make some things contradict this.

The gentleman has a cursed ring of the vampire, a powerful evil artifact which makes him believe he is a vampire and gives him many of the powers of a vampire, as well as some of the drawbacks. Make him dislike things that cause a vampire harm, but don't make it obvious whether is works. Make him have a reflection, but have a dead vampire victim show up, etc.. At the end, have the party realize that he is not a vampire at all but rather is a cursed fellow with an intrinsically good nature.

Other Related Materials

The Geisya, DRAGON issue #121 - A special NPC class that entertains adventurers the oriental way.

Romance and Adventure!, DRAGON issue #161 - How romance can be incorporated into an AD&D campaign.

Human Voices, DRAGON issue #177 - A love story of the sea.

A Few Good Stories

One funny occurrence

One of the clerics in my party went to an inn that also provided companionship for the night, either preference. When he got his bedmate, he and she had a little fun. (the encounter lasted 10 minutes game time, heh,heh). Afterward, they did it again, and this time it lasted 1 hr. 15 min., with him fainting at the end. When he woke up, he found himself in a cell, and the woman nowhere to be seen.

It turns out that a woman named the White Lich had been taking out potential enemies throughout the kingdom (she is a LICH). It also turned out that it wasn't "white" lich, but "wight" lich.

Imagine my player's face when he realized he had screwed a wight lich!!!

--- Larry

Learning about true love

Mowahpehnoksie (Mo), Plainsman warrior (my character) was on a quest (solo) for a lost plainsman treasure. The first part of the quest was the creation of a sacred bundle, the tribal shaman told Mo that he had to acquire a lock of hair from his one true love as an ingredient in the sacred bundle. As it turned out Mo had a "one true love" in the person of Vasquez, an elven privateer/warrior of extraordinary beauty and sword skill. Mo had been chasing Vasquez for a long time, all to no avail. She kept telling him that she would marry him when he could beat her in a duel. No one had ever beaten her in a duel. Anyhow, Mo sets off for the city where Vasquez was docked. First he checks at the Bloody Blade, a tavern partially owned by Vasquez, the bartender says she is down on the docks talking to her crew (of cutthroats). Mo goes to the docks, the first mate says that she just left and said she would be back in a few days. A disappointed Mo goes back to the tavern to leave a message, but the bartender tells him that Vasquez just came in and went up to her rooms. Mo goes up there and gets invited in. Vasquez is wearing a robe, and has a full bath of water drawn, she dumps Mo into the water, one thing leads to another...

When Mo wakes up, Vasquez is standing by the window, she turns says "Tyche sends her regards" changes into her true form, a succubus and teleports away. Tyche was an old enemy of the adventurers that had heard about Mo's quest, and wanted to set him up. Mo eventually found Vasquez at her father's castle where he had to explain what had happened, and see if she would still give him her hair (she did, taking pity on the fool). To make a long story short, Mo passed through many more trials, and succeeded in the quest. The succubus in the scenario had been careful to control her draining abilities while with Mo, because the real reason for all the subterfuge was delivered to Mo roughly nine months later, a bouncing baby alu-demon. What is the moral of this story? Don't have pre-marital sex? No, then what? Shapechanging creatures can make for very interesting bed partners.

NOTE: Mo and Vasquez were eventually married, and are raising their alu-demon daughter as best they can. Vasquez has more or less forgiven Mo for the whole thing, and even helped rescue the kid when she was kidnapped. They are in semi retirement until Soah is old enough to take care of herself. They are very happy to have weaned her off of eating raw meat.

John Daniel


Larry Barthel (bitnet address: BARTHELM@UMNMOR.BITNET) & his game group for being the first to send pages and pages of a great variety of ideas that were extremely useful in provoking creative elements to the guide. Also, Presto and Nyssa (other bitnet address: BARTHELM@CAA.MRS.UMN.EDU) for their little story of an adventure that is used in this guide.

Morgan Blackheart of The Chaotic Realm (internet address: ECZ5TAN@MVS.OAC.UCLA.EDU) and his wife for the addition of TTC in the rules. Also, telling me about the untie cantrip which is found in Unearthed Arcana. Suggestions for the spells Voyeur, Know Sexual Preference, Find Mate, Pillow Talk, and Engorge. Also, the listing of the spell Animal Magnetism. And sending the entire spell Summon Cissaldan. Plus, making the magic item section possible with ideas for the Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy, Ring Of The Bulls, Ring of Perversion (suggested ring of lust), Sheet of Useful Toys (suggested robe of useful things), Breast Plate +1, Perfume/Musk of Attraction, Figurine of the Willing WonTon, Wand of Vibration. Even more thanks for the first draft of the bitch rule which was made and used by his wife's chaotic mage Salina, and appears here do to her creativity. Plus, the background of Salina that appeared with The Bitch Rule. Also, the invention of experimental arrows which spawned the conversion to Cupid's arrows which ended up in their own section.

Wade Bluebaugh for his humorous ideas in the spell section that added a little something. Plus, his tuna disease.

John "Nightwind" Boelter (bitnet address: BOELTER3945@ISCSVAX.UNI.EDU) for informing me of overlooked flaws in the rules, suggestions for each part to make it mucho better, the first draft of the contracting disease system, and other very useful comments.

Brandon Cope (bitnet address: A_COPEAB@CCSVAX.SFASU.EDU) for his remarks.

John Daniel (bitnet address: C548285@UMCVMB.MISSOURI.EDU) the greatest article seeker, for sending via SnailMail an obscure article that appeared in The White Dwarf entitled The Houri Character Class from which I created the Houri Wizard Kit. Also from this article, I created or modified the following spells: Fascination, Impotence, Jealously, Lovesickness, Sex Change, Kiss of Sleep, Kiss of Death, Kiss of Weakness, Kiss of Slavery, Blown Kiss, Hearthbreaker (my personal favorite). Also, the Lipstick Of Irresistibility came from this source. Plus, he referred me to a Witch article in Dragon #114 where some very good spells were found which appear modified in this guide as Charm Man I and Seduction I, plus he made some good modifications to said spells. Furthermore, he is always making suggestions on various parts of the guide. A story by him appears in the story section of the guide. A small comment by him (Babies...what happens when all these adventurers have sex. What are the chances of conception per time?), which spawned the "Conception: What Are The Odds?" section of the guide. Plus, his paternity suit adventuring idea.

Dave, compiler of the Net AD&D Players Supplement (found on a FTP site somewhere on the BITNET) from which was taken the spells Davenet's Seduction, Sexify/Enhance Comeliness, Slap, and Tweak/Goose which I slightly changed but they basically appear as originally created.

Brian Deffinbaugh for the 1st draft of the "Porno Periodicals Of Humanoids" section, which is a very useful additive to any AD&D campaign. Plus, the addition of the magic item Sword of Castration (suggested Sword Vorpal Weapon).

The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.) pages L-1 and L-2 where the information for the "The House Of Ill Repute" section came from. Also, page L-3 where the information for the "Case: The Blue Tavern (Entertainment And Pleasure)" section came from. Also, for Kuber Hasbin on page L-2.

Jason Golden (bitnet address: BEHOLDER@FAITHFUL.IMSA.EDU) for questioning the magical diseases and the multiple orgasm idea. Also, for requesting a system for contracting disease.

The movie Johny Dangerously for the E.S.S. disease that I modified and used.

The Judges Guild Volume I (Copyrighted 1978 Judges Guild) pages 5-6 for game information on WOMEN. The inclination and vital statistic information found in the prostitute random generator was taken from here and modified slightly to fit into this guide.

Sven De Kerpel (bitnet address: SDKERPEL@VNET3.VUB.AC.BE) for his comments and additions on the prostitute section of the guide which resulted in seven major chances to the tables to make them more realistic and playable.

Lonadar the Wanderer (bitnet address: LONADAR@JUDY.INDSTATE.EDU) bringing up the race question, commenting on a lot of the spells, adding the feather to the components of Leomund's Ting Brothel.

Mike Parasich (bitnet address: MNP@ALPHA.SUNQUEST.COM) for the spells Cure Soreness, Enchant Condom, Delay Orgasm, Deep Throat, Power Word: Disrobe; all of which were mentioned.

Arron Sher (bitnet address: ARS3_CIF@UHURA.CC.ROCHESTER.EDU or ARS3_CIF@TROI.CC.ROCHESTER.EDU), compiler of The NET.PLOTS.BOOK from which the vampire adventuring idea came from.

Matt Sullivan (bitnet address: SULLIVAN_M@CSVAX1.UCC.IE) for his humble comments and recommendations that inspired a few modifications to the rules. For the first draft of "Seduction: More Than Reaction Roles" section, which was very creative.

TSR Hobbies, Inc. whose game made this all possible.

Vinnie (bitnet address: GTV@BOUW.TNO.NL) & Rahasia Mage Priestess of Ishtar The Priestess of Love for ReErection spell idea and suggesting a spell that simulates the Nereid's kiss. For keeping them comments coming on everything I needed help on. Plus, he suggested wisdom modifiers for the Houri seduction rules which were implemented. For additions to the sexual knowledge proficiency. For the "Adventuring Idea" section and three ideas (Love Boat, Dog Man Needs A Date, Twins) that appear there. For the idea and suggestions for Rahasia's Whirlpool Tub Of Love which appears in the magic-items section.

Owen Winkler (internet address: ODWST@VM2.CIS.PITT.EDU) for a first draft of the impotence spell that I used.

The International Bitnet Address Book

NAME: John W. Boelter ALIAS: Nightwind BITNET: BOELTER3945@ISCSVAX.UNI.EDU ADDRESS: Cedar Falls, Iowa U.S.A.


NAME: John Daniel ALIAS: none BITNET: C548285@UMCVMB.MISSOURI.EDU ADDRESS: Columbia, Missouri U.S.A.

NAME: Sven De Kerpel ALIAS: none BITNET: SDKERPEL@VNET3.VUB.AC.BE ADDRESS: Vrije Universiteit Brussel Brussel Belgium

NAME: Vicki Domansky ALIAS: Morgaine BITNET: VICKI.L.DOMANSKY@MTSG.UBC.CA ADDRESS: Vancouver, British Columbia Canada

NAME: Jason Golden ALIAS: none BITNET: BEHOLDER@FAITHFUL.IMSA.EDU ADDRESS: Illinois Mathematics & Science Academy Schaumburg, Illinois U.S.A.

NAME: Marc Maurer ALIAS: Maxwell Edison BITNET: MAURERMJ@CAA.MRS.UMN.EDU ADDRESS: University of Minnesota, Morris Morris, Minnesota U.S.A.

NAME: Stan Joseph Paszt, Jr ALIAS: Fast Eddie, Silthen, Rayer, JoJo BITNET: CSPASZT@ECUVM1.BITNET ADDRESS: Chocowinity, North Carolina U.S.A.


NAME: Morgan Tanner ALIAS: Morgan Blackheart of the Chaotic Realm BITNET: ECZ5TAN@MVS.OAC.UCLA.EDU ADDRESS: Los Angeles, California U.S.A.

NAME: Vinnie ALIAS: none BITNET: GTV@BOUW.TNO.NL ADDRESS: Delft Holland (Netherlands)

I hope I did not offend anyone for putting this document on my WWW-Homepage...

If you have any comments plase mail me.

John Olsson, Linköping, 1995